tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31647067.post2383633611476302582..comments2024-02-11T10:58:23.271-08:00Comments on Reading to Know: Are You Waiting For the One?, by Margaret Kim Peterson and Dwight N. PetersonCarriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08772667430500306088noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31647067.post-10377144033936084762011-09-14T06:30:52.174-07:002011-09-14T06:30:52.174-07:00hmmmmm. . .how's that for a deep comment?? :)hmmmmm. . .how's that for a deep comment?? :)Shonyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04310547848215492736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31647067.post-2863446946775228332011-09-13T23:36:57.850-07:002011-09-13T23:36:57.850-07:00From Taia the blog post author:
The Petersons emp...From Taia the blog post author:<br /><br />The Petersons emphasize the mutuality and oneness that ought to characterize marriage and use the relationship between God the Father and God the Son as an example of perfect mutuality and oneness. (Eph 5:21 and I Cor 11:3 are among the scripture references) They admit that perfect mutuality is unachievable and propose a "real love" solution called cooperation and consensus, which they contrast with "headship as decision making authority."<br /><br />I'll follow up with a couple more quotes: <br /><br />"Marriage is not fundamentally about conflict and control. Headship and submission are not about decision making and acquiescence... and leadership is not decision making authority. "<br /><br />on mutuality: "Mutuality takes time. It takes effort. It takes a willingness to talk with one another and listen to one another, for long enough that it can become clear what the issues are, what the feelings and desires of both spouses are, and what some possible plans of action might be. Headship as decision making, by contrast, can seem quick and easy and far less personally demanding" <br /><br />They go on to say that couples often don't deal with their differences in a headship-as-decision-making authority model, they just do an end run around them and end up no more united than they were when they began. They also believe that <br /><br />"by idealizing rigidly defined gender roles and assigning power in relationships disproportionately to men and encouraging both men and women to see this as spiritually appropriate and desirable, a theological ideology for abuse in intimate relationships is set in place" and go on to describe specific problematic situations they've observed in their years of teaching.<br /><br />Since two girls from my high school class were murdered by their significant others, another watched her father murder her mother and two other girls were pregnant as victims of incest (that their mothers must have known about yet tolerated), I probably think more about the risks of patriarchy than people without such firsthand experiences. I hoped my observations were of rare events, but I now don't think so. I think society and the church often ignore the part of society where such problems are most common, because it seems so little can be done.Taianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31647067.post-21592671971325405552011-09-13T17:36:09.418-07:002011-09-13T17:36:09.418-07:00This does sound interesting--although I'm a bi...This does sound interesting--although I'm a bit confused as to how the view of "perfect peace and mutuality" between husband and wife can be a <i>realistic</i> expectation for a marriage.<br /><br />Like, you (Carrie), I have some questions about the quote. It seems to me that likening the relationship between a man and his wife to that of God the Father and God the Son is an inappropriate analogy (although, now that I think of it, I have heard that analogy used in defense of a complimentary model as well.) I don't see anywhere in Scripture where marriage is said to imitate the relationship within the Godhead. Rather, I see marriage described as a cosmic play-act in which the husband "plays" Christ and the wife the church. In this, we see the self-sacrificing servant leadership that the husband is supposed to demonstrate and the trusting submission with which the wife responds to her husband's love.<br /><br />Models for husband-wife relationships aside, I'd be interested to read the Peterson's thoughts on economics and marriage--something I've been reading up on off and on over the past half dozen or so years.bekahcubedhttp://bekahcubed.menterz.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31647067.post-24359514959194597822011-09-13T08:26:46.584-07:002011-09-13T08:26:46.584-07:00I think there's a good point here about the hu...I think there's a good point here about the husband spending so much time out of the home providing for his family that the wife is essentially a single mother. That also happens more often that we'd like to see and it's worth considering.<br /><br />Speaking personally, that's a dangerous thing we recognize for our own family. It's a situation we pay close attention to and hope to make some changes within our family to allow for Jonathan to be with us more hours of the day than he's away.<br /><br />Brooke, I'm so glad you commented. By some standards (those I grew up with) I married later in the game. (By today's standards I married at a reasonable and average age.) I didn't buy a house but I did want to take a job in a state where my family didn't live and that raised eyebrows. I wanted to be married but it wasn't happening and I had no reason to believe that it was going to immediately. So I took the job and moved. Why should I not work or travel? <br /><br />#1 - I think it's important for women to not live as if the only thing that they can anticipate is marriage.<br /><br />#2 - I think it's healthy and right to desire marriage.<br /><br />But God's timing is often not our own and we're not supposed to be in the business of wasting days.Carriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08772667430500306088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31647067.post-61513382697071416142011-09-13T07:47:08.150-07:002011-09-13T07:47:08.150-07:00This sounds interesting. I don't believe that...This sounds interesting. I don't believe that there is necessarily complete partnership in marriage. I believe the husband is the leader; however I think Biblical marriages are more egalitarian than most Christians would admit.<br /><br />I whole heartedly agree that most churches view singleness as a transitional state. It has been a challenge for me because I'm looking to buy a house. I will probably have to get something that requires fixing up, but other Christians do discourage me because they think I should wait to get a husband. My response is, I don't know if God intends for me to marry. Why shouldn't I have a place to live.Brooke from The Bluestocking Guidehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07832634751075478091noreply@blogger.com