tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31647067.post2566980682057084354..comments2024-02-11T10:58:23.271-08:00Comments on Reading to Know: Parenting in the Pew, by Robbie CastlemanCarriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08772667430500306088noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31647067.post-82476910482124045332011-04-12T13:54:15.569-07:002011-04-12T13:54:15.569-07:00I just added this to my Amazon wishlist. We keep G...I just added this to my Amazon wishlist. We keep Gideon in the service as much as possible. I take him out to feed and diaper him and when he just can't keep his cooing to himself. None of our friends here understand why we do it, even though we've explained over and over. And our friends who work the nursery feel like it's a personal insult to them.<br /><br />I wish this wasn't such a touchy subject.Elisabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17416265133804487369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31647067.post-61370666110244567902011-04-01T20:59:01.978-07:002011-04-01T20:59:01.978-07:00Shonya - Amen to that!!Shonya - Amen to that!!Carriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08772667430500306088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31647067.post-84023323258817628342011-04-01T11:27:10.159-07:002011-04-01T11:27:10.159-07:00I'm late here, but found this review very inte...I'm late here, but found this review very interesting. I've heard of the book, but not read it. We have, however, kept our children with us through church service through our 15 years of parenting and I just want to encourage you to "keep on keeping on". Your friend was right--it's a season which passes, and you are right--the payoff is *so* worth it. I think it would be interesting to read, and I appreciate what appears to be a "kind" tone in the book. It's great to stand up for what we believe in and do what we think is best for our family (even if it's different from what our brothers and sisters think is normal), but I think the most important ingredient is kindness--not superiority or judgment.Shonyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04310547848215492736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31647067.post-64096108599677488202011-03-30T15:46:47.174-07:002011-03-30T15:46:47.174-07:00We've always preferred to ship our kids off to...We've always preferred to ship our kids off to age-appropriate worship, but I don't care if people have their kids with them, assuming that they don't disrupt the service. I find that most people who make it a priority to have their kids there also make it a priority to train them to behave properly :)<br /><br />Our current church strongly discourages it, I think, which is a bit harsh.<br /><br />In our last church, the kids were with us for praise and worship and prayer, and then had children's church. I liked that, but when Kyle left nursery age (at 4), and sat with us, I thought that there was NO way this active chatty boy was going to do it, but guess what -- he did.<br /><br />I loved singing praise with him and then hearing him hum those same songs around the house.<br /><br />(It seems like everyone felt the need to fully explain their choices -- ha!! long comments!!)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03789250398792504412noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31647067.post-32466135221541943732011-03-30T06:33:11.844-07:002011-03-30T06:33:11.844-07:00I'm pretty sure I've read this book! I ju...I'm pretty sure I've read this book! I just can't remember when. We also keep our kids with us. Our church is very small and has a kind of Sunday school combined with the nursery for 0-5 years. This is mainly because the previous pastor's family and my family were the only kids and we personally wanted our children to transition into the service with us at that age. At 3 yrs. children join their parents for the music, then at 5 yrs. they stay the whole time. Like you said, it takes training and parenting. At this stage it isn't "what will at 6 yr old get out of church." Instead it's about training the child to sit, pay attention and participate. You'd be amazed at the connections my 7 year old makes sometimes between what he hears at church on Sunday and things that come up throughout the week. <br /><br />Thanks for this review, Carrie. I'm putting it on my Amazon list right now. My 4 yr old girlie will be transitioning to church all the time in the fall and I feel the need for inspiration with her. :)Stephanie's Mommy Brainhttp://stephaniesmommybrain.blogspot.com/2011/03/overcommitted-overbalanced-mom2mom.htmlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31647067.post-55453086058465992782011-03-29T04:05:53.752-07:002011-03-29T04:05:53.752-07:00Someone at co-op was reading this book a few weeks...Someone at co-op was reading this book a few weeks ago. <br /><br />We've really enjoyed our church's approach to children. We came from a church where the kids were kind of shoved off into a holding tank while the adults did their thing, but where we are now, the children are truly ministered to and regarded as valued members of the body. They don't have to stay in the service, but they are welcome -- there is even an insert in the pew offering parents some encouragement and instruction in how to have their kids with them in the service without stressing out.Janethttp://acrossthepage.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31647067.post-46382596791460995612011-03-28T19:16:24.330-07:002011-03-28T19:16:24.330-07:00Thanks for the post ... I will have to check out t...Thanks for the post ... I will have to check out the book.<br /><br />At our church we have nursery available during the service (an infant room and a toddler room) and then children's church for 4-kindergarten after the offering. We kept our daughter with us during the services until she was about nine or ten months old (I can't remember exactly now). We try to keep her with us through the beginning worship. I'm glad that we have these opportunities and that our church really encourages worship as a family (5 and up are in the services).<br /><br />Thanks again for this topic and the conversation that it has sparked.Danihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08360314407439787462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31647067.post-17510934986285156962011-03-28T13:02:58.159-07:002011-03-28T13:02:58.159-07:00Our Bible classes are segregated by age, but our w...Our Bible classes are segregated by age, but our worship service, which follows the Bible class hour, is for everyone. We do have a cry room for babies that can be used by parents as needed, but not a different service for children in general. My children know how to sit still during worship (mostly) because that's all they have ever known, and they participate in the song service. My oldest also takes notes during the sermon. HOWEVER, I know we could do so much more to help our children develop a true desire for worshipping God, and this sounds like a book that would inspire and encourage us to do more. Thanks for sharing the review!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02621801352117962891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31647067.post-71902579276827538892011-03-28T11:05:08.156-07:002011-03-28T11:05:08.156-07:00I think people should distinguish between "te...I think people should distinguish between "teaching their children to sit through church" and "teaching them to worship God". I worked with a surprising number of people who were raised in strong Christian homes and were very knowledgeable about the Bible and Christianity but had no personal religious belief. I'm sure their parents THOUGHT they were teaching them to worship God but until the children grow up, it's hard to know what sticks. In our own church, roughly half of people's adult children attend church regularly and half don't.Taianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31647067.post-39052279830145548352011-03-28T10:30:37.370-07:002011-03-28T10:30:37.370-07:00So far, great discussion, ladies! Annette - I tota...So far, great discussion, ladies! Annette - I totally hear you.<br /><br />Alice - Yes! Yay! You got the tone of my post. We are totally NOT opposed to nursery and Sunday School programs. (Our church has one, although the Sunday School hour takes place before the main service so that people can attend both and yes, it's divided by age groups. We plan on making use of it after baby is here and we've adjusted -- and our kids are a little older.) I *think* most of the families in our church use the nursery until their kids are 2. We just choose to keep ours with us from the get-go. Which DOES mean a great deal of time exiting the sanctuary and bouncing babies in one's arm. It is admittedly exhausting. However, we think it works well for us in the long run.<br /><br />I can think of some specific people I know and specific situations where it really is much more useful to the family unit for the kids to be in a Sunday School program. I can't argue with their reasons.<br /><br />The only thing we ask in return is to be allowed to keep our kids with us - and we don't mind if that makes us different or stand out - we're doing what we believe is right for our family and we aren't demanding everyone else do the same. We're usually content to be the odd ones out. (Hello. jonathan and I were both home schooled when home schooling was definitely NOT the norm so we're used to people thinking we're kinda different.) Thankfully, most churches we have been at have been totally supportive of having kids in the service. A time or two we've been the only ones and it can be uncomfortable. Grace, as you said, Alice! SO important to extend grace in BOTH directions because it can be such a touchy subject. <br /><br />Obviously we've formed an opinion on what we think is in "the best interest of the child" ultimately. But I definitely think that there are some very valid exceptions and that some churches do a very good job with their Sunday School set-ups.Carriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08772667430500306088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31647067.post-23962849142789977082011-03-28T09:47:41.583-07:002011-03-28T09:47:41.583-07:00I also liked this book and found it helpful, for t...I also liked this book and found it helpful, for the most part. <br /><br />However, I've seen cases (NOT in your post, just to make that clear) where people use this book or the idea that children should be in the service in a sort of "we're better Christians than you" way. I don't get that feeling from you or what you said at all but I think there are so many things in church that can become divisive as well as so many parenting decisions that are divisive that anything that combines parenting and church has the potential to be toxic. <br /><br />One thing I found helpful when reading this book is to realize that although she is very much a proponent of children being in the service and gives very helpful ways to help them learn how to be there, she did not have her kids sit through the sermon until older (I think age 5 if I remember correctly). I remember she said that they used it almost as a reward for the kids "when you're this age and big enough you GET to sit through the whole service". <br /><br />For us, we tend to have had our kids in the nursery until roughly 2 and then our church offers a "children's church" during the sermon only which is really just babysitting time for kids up to 5. We've found our kids vary as to what age we have them stop going to that and stay with us for the entire service. We have a long service (90+ minutes) which also might make our experience different. <br /><br />Anyway, great post about a touchy topic. I just wanted to point out that even the author didn't have all her kids stay with her in the entire service from birth on (which is the standard I've sometimes been made to feel that I need to live up to but fail at). I've also been at the opposite end of the spectrum and visited churches where we were made to feel very unwelcome if we had our kids stay with us. <br /><br />Bottom line, it's good for us all to give each other a lot of grace.Alice@Supratentorialhttp://www.supratentorial.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31647067.post-5263750186799989532011-03-28T08:17:49.670-07:002011-03-28T08:17:49.670-07:00Loved hearing Jennifer's input.Loved hearing Jennifer's input.Annette W.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02498639468291720406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31647067.post-36606538576696560172011-03-28T07:46:55.245-07:002011-03-28T07:46:55.245-07:00I'll keep my personal stories to myself and ju...I'll keep my personal stories to myself and just say that I agree with your take on children's church. We have separate Sunday School classes, which are segregated by age, which we also attend.Amy @ Hope Is the Wordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07949836482747469686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31647067.post-8337775647610992172011-03-28T07:27:57.445-07:002011-03-28T07:27:57.445-07:00Robbie Castleman teaches at my alma mater!
The c...Robbie Castleman teaches at my alma mater! <br /><br />The churches I grew up in didn't have Children's Church.Word Lilyhttp://wordlily.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31647067.post-36879147013626170012011-03-28T06:57:02.277-07:002011-03-28T06:57:02.277-07:00Though I don't have kids, I loved what you sai...Though I don't have kids, I loved what you said in this post and nearly want to get the book and pack it away hope-chest style until I do have kids, which could be a while since I'm only 17. <br /><br />I'm living proof this way works. :) I always sat in church with my parents. After a move and a church switch, I tried out the children's church thing but, after coming to my parents with stories about what movie we had watched and how many Oreos I had eaten, they decided that sitting with them was the best option. <br />(Of course, as you mentioned, some churches do have worthwhile set ups.)<br />My sister and I were the only children in the mid-size church that sat in the service, and my parents took a lot of heat for that. <br /><br />But, though I often remember boredom ensuing, I also remember watching my parents cry out to God during a song, "Amen"ing a particular part of the preacher's sermon, and lifting hands in adoration of Jesus. It was a time to see my parents a little vulnerable (something I didn't think was possible; they were rocks in my eyes) before God, to see them put their faith in action.<br /><br />So, besides the training in sitting still, just seeing my parents worship God had a huge impact on me. I'm very grateful for their decision, and I'm sure your kids will be too.Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13337500567333475158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31647067.post-20844926974425803182011-03-28T06:37:33.622-07:002011-03-28T06:37:33.622-07:00Hmm...I want to say a few things, but please know ...Hmm...I want to say a few things, but please know that though we choose differently, we still respect others, like you, who keep the children in the service.<br /><br />I do think the length of the worship service does impact how well the children do in a service. Our church is 1 1/2 hours, but if we are visiting family, that service is just an hour. <br /><br />Our church offers a nursery for baby-2 years (no lesson, just play), toddler church for 2 and 3 yo for the full service. For 4 year olds-3rd grade, they spend the first 40ish minutes with us in the sanctuary for music and such. They are dismissed right before the sermon to have their own church time. Once a month children through 6th grade are dismissed for a focused missionary time. (This is also when we take communion.)<br /><br />Many, though not all, of the families in our church utilize the programs offered during the service time. A separate time is offered for Sunday school-with different teachers and lessons. We don't hear a ton of babies crying in the service, but it's not offensive when we do.<br /><br />We do like how this particular church ministers to the young children, esp that at age 4 they are worshiping with us, even though they don't hear the sermon. We have found that is also a good age for sitting still. <br /><br />Personally, when we have kept our little ones in the sanctuary with us (usually due to runny nose or something minor), it's not just that I didn't get to listen and worship...but it was incredibly hard for to give that time to God. However, I totally agree that it is a ministry...an important ministry teaching your children.<br /><br />When we visit my husband's family, we keep the kids with us in church. Since it's just an hour it works out quite well, though of course, we are still distracted. (The message there is very simple, and only about 20 minutes long...)<br /><br />I do suspect we'll be changing churches in the next few years (due to distance...it's 35-40 minutes away. we attended before we had moved). When we move, I don't think we will be looking for a children's program just like ours, but solid biblical teaching.<br /><br />Okay...I said plenty. I guess I just wanted to share why our church's children's ministry works for us, though we're not opposed to children with us in the pews.Annette W.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02498639468291720406noreply@blogger.com