Monday, February 12, 2007

if life is a bowl of cherries - what am I doing in the pits?, by Erma Bombeck

Again, this is an author that my husband introduced me to. Last year, for our anniversary, we took a road trip down to Napa Valley. Along the way we listened to Bombeck's The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank book on tape. I was amused.

I was amused yet again today during my son's nap time. (We're currently having the house resided. In order for him to sleep, we have to sit next to the speakers, listen to music and he sleeps on me. This is convenient in some respects and, in others -- not so much!) Today I had to try not to laugh out loud, or shake too much when laughing silently, while reading this book.

Here are a few excerpts I found particularly amusing.

On the subject of hiring a babysitter:

"Once I made up my mind, I interviewed sitters for six months. It's depressing when you realize no one wants to be paid for what you've been doing for years for nothing. I talked with one who could only work until the children came home from school. Another believed in naps until age thirty-five, and there was one who worked for one day and quit saying, "Do you actually expect me to work in a house where a water jug looks like snow falling in a paperweight?" (page 62)

On the subject of a coffee addiction (my addictions lie elsewhere - but some are equally excessive in cost):

"I wanted to boycott coffee when it went to four dollars a pound. I really did, but basically I'm weak and cannot endure pain." (page 107)

On the subject of enacting laws:

"Article the fifth: Babies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize, whether it be in church, a public meeting place, during a movie, or after hours when the lights are out. They have not yet learned that joy and laughter have to last a lifetime and must be conserved." (page 133)

And lastly, on a topic I found very poignant, the desire to register camera nuts:

"You will understand me when as a woman who is married to an amateur camera freak, I respectfully suggest that some kind of legislation be passed requiring a permit to carry a loaded camera.

I don't mean to overreact, but I live in fear that someday my husband will point that thing at me, forget he has taken off the lens cap, and click click! I'll end up another statistic at Fotomat." (page 156)

I had fun today!

Monthly challenge: 6 down, 4 to go!


B said...

Oh, I love Erma Bombeck! She's beyond hysterical at times. If you have the chance, read her book When You Look Like Your Passport Photo, It's Time to Go Home. It has one of the best descriptions of people who overpack (her husband) that I've ever seen.

Unknown said...

I read this in high school or college (actually a collection of her works), believe it or not, but I thought she was hysterical!

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