Welcome to my biblioblog!
My name is Carrie and I wear a lot of different hats: wife, mother, friend, reader, watercolor artist, traveler, etc. This space is all about books. Well, mostly. I share pieces of myself when talking about books so pull up a chair and let's chat!
I'm going to try something I've never tried before. I am going to set my reading goal for 2019 at 52 books. (You can track with me on Goodreads HERE.) Usually I like to go with the flow of things and pick books randomly as the year trots along and who knows but that I'll do that yet. However, I'd like to conduct a little experiment and see how much I could read from a planned list of books. Let us see.
Out of 52 books I'd like to leave room for 12 random reads because something tells me this experiment doesn't stand a chance unless there's room for some amount of flexibility!
That leaves 40 books to select and put on a Prepared Reading List for 2019. In no particular order, these are the titles I'd really like to get to in 2019. Many are from my own bookshelves and there are some I'm probably going to be forced to collect. (Wink)
Starting with the most important read of the year and moving on from there -
1. I'll be using the One Year Chronological Study Bible this year again. I've used it for the past 5(ish?) years and I find it the easiest, most consistent way to make sure I read through the Bible every year. It's laid out by date which is ever so helpful as I'm not trying to keep track of a separate piece of paper and keep track of readings. Why that's a challenge for me, I don't know, but I do know that this particular One Year Bible has been tremendously handy and feel I ought to stick with it!
Account for Flexible Reads -
2 - 13. Open slots for flexibility.
BOOKS FOR ME
Fiction -
14. The Clockmakers Daughter, by Kate Morton. This title was just released this fall. LOVE Kate Morton. My son gave me this book for Christmas and I can't wait to dive in.
15. The Story Peddler, by Lindsay Franklin. Another gift from another son for Christmas. (It was a very good, bookish sort of Christmas!)
16. Carrie's War, by Nina Bawden. I picked this one up in Scotland because, I mean, how could I not?
17. Daddy Long Legs, by Jean Webster. I picked up the Puffins Classic version because a.) it's pretty and b.) I haven't read this book yet.
25. Victoria and Abdul, by Shrabani Basu (I'm terribly iffy on this one and if there was a book I might change my mind about, this would be the one. I picked it up at the library book sale after hearing about the movie. Reading the back of the book makes me rethink things. We'll see.)
Even just writing down those titles made me realize how little reading time I've carved out for myself of late and how small a stack 52 books really is when all is said and done. Clearly I shall die with a TBR list that's 14,000 miles long. I'm sure you can appreciate the feeling, yes? Writing this down motivates me to read, read, read and see if I can best myself. But. If all I read are 52 books it will be good and I need to be satisfied with that! Here's to books, the places they take us, and how much that they teach us!
I've been a bad book blogger for well over a year now but I hope that's about to change. Several of you noticed that earlier this year I shut the blog down for a bit. I needed to for a little while. It was time to take a little break and tend to family and business matters. Our family was in the middle of an out-of-state move (we're still in the Pacific Northwest!) and that (reasonably) required a lot of attention to details, details, details! It was just a good time to take a little break from the blog and do the things that needed the doing.
Life has settled down considerably and we're settling into our new community quite wonderfully. The book reading slowed down with the moving process (as might be expected!) but as I've found the time to pick the books back up, I've also felt the strong urge to write about them. To have reached a point where it feels like this can be a part of life again is exciting for I really have missed it!
Here's to being back, to catching up, and to taking the time to process reads again! You have no idea how excited I am to be able to do so.
I seem to be on a major non-fiction kick these days. I've been doing quite a bit of thinking and processing lately as to what God might be asking of me in life. And honestly I hesitate even to confess this because it inevitably results in someone, (who thinks they know me), coming up to me while gleefully clapping their hands and taking the opportunity to tell me how they are "so happy" that God is changing me in some manner which they are a.) assuming and b.) feeling that I ought to change. Truly, I am always delighted to talk about the way that God is at work in my life and the life of my family but I do quickly become disgruntled in the conversation when a person hearing my story assumes that now I'll become the person they've always hoped I would be so as to suit them better. And I don't believe that's how God works. I think He delights in progress and delights when we delight in the process. Furthermore, I also think He delights in the fact that He has made such a splendid variety of people to live in fellowship with one another and to worship Him in unity. He doesn't expect us to all be the same. We expect it of each other but He has no intention of us looking anything alike. The beauty is in the differences and, really, that's what I'm taking note of more and more frequently.
One of the great challenges of life is in fellowshipping with other believers. Can I get an 'amen'?! There are a wide variety of reasons for this, of course, and we could speculate as to what causes the greatest barrier to real relationships. The simple answer is that sin is the culprit but how that sin manifests itself varies by person and by congregations. I can know in my head that I'm designed to know and love my fellow Christian sisters but living out that love feels like a complete impossibility more often than not. The older I get and the more disagreements I "suffer" my way through, the more I find myself valuing true fellowship. But true fellowship isn't what I thought it had to be either. In fact, it's pretty much the total opposite of what I hoped it was. True fellowship isn't always being "like-minded" with those I worship alongside but it is being challenged by the differences and learning to extend both love and grace despite of that. Together we make up the Body of Christ. Alone we are arguably not a part of the Body at all. I don't know about you but when my time comes to meet the Lord face-to-face, I want to hear "well done" and I do strongly believe that that means being a part of The Body, or, The Bride of Christ. If He cares much about His bride than we probably should also. All difficulties aside, we really ought to strive to work and live together instead of apart.
The question is how to get along. Fun question, indeed.
My bloggy friend Melissa listed Closer Than a Sister as one of her upcoming reads for 2018 and seeing as how I've also been rethinking what it means to be a part of the church (local) and the Body (universal) I thought this title worth a read. And it is! In Closer Than a Sister, Christina Fox takes a pretty close look at what scriptures have to say about what the church local is called to be to one another. She touches on all topics such as rejoicing with one another, grieving with one another, exhorting, growing, learning, sharing and helping. She also talks a great deal about the challenges we face within our local community of believers. I might have found that section the most poignant for myself, personally.
Fox takes a truly Biblical approach to the topic and is constantly taking the reader to scriptures in order to understand what our calling is in Christ towards our sisters within the church. This is a role which modern believers seem to approach rather casually and even callously. Again, the reasons for this are many and she lists a big obvious such as the role of social media (i.e., Facebook, Instagram, etc.) in our modern lives. Fox goes back to the basics (Genesis!) in discussing how we were made for community with one another. One of my favorite verses which she focuses on right from the get-go is 1 Peter 2:9-10 which I will type up for you here:
"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy but now you have received mercy."
Fox asks her readers to focus on the words in this verse which declare us having standing before the Lord not as individuals, (although that does exist too, obviously), but as a people designed to live and work together. Note the words race, priesthood, people. We've been called out to be together. We're designed for community. Not that that is always a fun thing, mind you, but it is the thing to be, like it or no.
So if we're called to live together then how do we do that when this sister over here works outside the home, and that one is sarcastic to beat the band, and that one is a perfectionists, and that one is controlling, and that one can't stand conflict of any sort, etc., etc.? There are lots of reasons why we shouldn't get along. But God. Incredibly, He makes us TO get along. It really doesn't make any sense sometimes, does it? Hey, I agree, it's bizarre! But we're called to it. And if God calls and bids you 'come and die' then you better get your last Will and Testament written and done with because He has a reason to call you out and use you in ways which you probably cannot even begin to fathom. He's good for that.
I'm here to say I struggle with this myself. I needed to read this book because I need my own understanding of how God uses people to stretch, challenge, and strengthen His church. In the past few weeks I've been challenged to lay aside prideful thoughts and feelings which operate more as a barrier to fellowship than a boon. It's hard! There are some people that I just flat out don't like and some people out there in this world who flat out don't like me! (It's true, if you can believe it!) Again, this is not an excuse so much as it is a challenge. If God called us to be united in Him, then we'd better work hard to figure out how to be united. How that looks will also vary from friendship to friendship and church to church. But the hard work must still be done.
What I've been learning is that the very people who I thought I didn't "mix well" with are the very people from whom I have already received some of the greatest blessings. I've been discovering that God has been "setting me up" to fail at my own expectations so that He can broaden my horizons and give me a new set of expectations. Godly ones. Lately everything I thought I knew to be true has proved false and everything I've doubted has proved a huge blessing. What I thought Christian fellowship needed to be has been turned on its head. I would argue it's being turned into a position where my relationships are facing THE Head of the Church (which is Christ) and that's what should have been happening all along. Is it pleasant? Not always, no. Does it feel nice in the end? Ohhhh my word! The freedom and the peace which comes when you deign to listen to God's plan instead of your own are immeasurable.
I want to be honest about my own struggles because I think that honesty is more healing than not. Will some people misinterpret my words and my expressions? Yes, undoubtedly. And that'll have to be their problem which I won't be at liberty to fix. But I do trust what Fox also affirms: that after the struggles on earth we will find ourselves truly One with the Lord in Heaven. One day we will be united in spirit and in truth. Even if we do not experience this in our lifetime, the time is coming. That will be a glorious thing.
Would I recommend Closer Than A Sister? I think it's a good challenging read for pretty much every woman I know. Regular readers know that I don't normally go the devotional book route but at the conclusion of each chapter Fox includes 3-4 questions for the reader to consider. This probably goes down in history as my first book where I'd say the questions are thoughtful and poignant and worth spending a little extra time considering. All in all, I think this book is top notch and I'd happily recommend it.
Our family vacation in 2017 was to Eastern Canada where we spent some time on Nova Scotia and then, chiefly, Prince Edward Island. As mentioned, we spent a great deal of time as a family immersing ourselves in the world of Lucy Maud Montgomery leading up to the trip and it was an enjoyable and wonderful experience.
I probably won't read as much Montgomery this year, strictly because I'm rather saturated at the moment, but I will read some. Meanwhile, thought you all might enjoy seeing a few pictures that we took during our time on the Island. It was beautiful, it was wonderful, and yes, I want to go back!
For starts, this was our "back yard" during our stay.
One of life's chief happy thoughts for me is having red dirt on my boots! Heh...
We watched a lot of sunsets to the point where our children asked us why we "had" to watch so many sunsets. (We're mean that way.)
We hiked all over the place.
And we saw the things we wanted to see.
Over all it was a magical, wonderful time and we cherished every moment (except for the part where we got a tummy bug but nothing in life can ever be perfect).
It was a lovely visit. Hope you've enjoyed the pictures.
I feel like I should have wildly excited things to say about Gloria Furman's newest title, Missional Motherhood. Certainly it was a great book, full of encouraging remarks about how we as mothers ought to think of ourselves. I have zero complaints about it and can do more than just recommend it -- I purchased copies to give to friends of mine that I thought would connect with it as well. When it comes to writing up a review of it though, all of my thoughts are falling flat. I've been debating why that is and one reason stands out above the rest and I'll get to that in a moment. First though, let me tell you about the book itself.
Missional Motherhood is a unique title in the world of books on motherhood in that it addresses all women everywhere as "nurturers" who are created to "mother" natural born/these-are-the-children-in-your-neighborhood kids. Furman doesn't limit the term "mother" to someone who bore a child in her womb, gave birth to it, and who now oversees that children's day-to-day living experiences. Rather, she calls on women to rise up and nurture all those around them in the love that Christ has given to us as sinners whatever their standing or season or life.
Furman, I didn't realize, is a missionary, serving overseas with her husband and children. While the obvious audience for this book is the American woman, the reader is quick to see that Furman has a more global outlook on life. She sees women as being called to serve others in any variety of endeavors, situations and locations, and focuses in on the idea of loving your neighbor as you love yourself. For some people our "neighbors" are those aforementioned natural born children. Other neighbors might include girls in the church youth group in need of discipleship, fellow MOPS moms, babies in the nursery, children in an orphanage in another country, and/or virtually anyone that a woman has been placed in front of and asked to serve in some capacity. She wants her female readership to focus on their God-given role to nurture and build up and do those very things for the glory of the Lord. To make her argument, Mrs. Furman begins by spending the first half of the book taking her reader on an overview of the Old Testament and concludes with Christ's death on the cross. The idea is to cause her reader to see just how much they have been given so that they understand what all they have to give. It's a good message and Furman has a writing style I engaged with well. I had zero objections to what she had to say, liked her globally minded mission (my children weren't all born in the U.S. of A.!), and generally found this book appealing. As I say, I gifted it to others so clearly I don't have any major objections to it.
However, I have to say that while I was reading this title I thought a lot about why I was reading it. My chief reason was that I am a mother and I felt it was time to pick up a book on mothering to learn more about my role and how to improve in it. It's always great to be encouraged in my job by a book and so, of course, I was looking for a "pick me up" as well. I don't think there is anything necessarily wrong with that except that it just made the book feel sort of "forced" if you know what I mean. I wasn't able to value it as much as I could have because I felt almost guilted, thinking that's "what I ought to be reading." In certain ways this was a "want to" read but in other ways I felt like it was the thing I should be doing as a mature, responsible mother. It was like it seemed time to box myself about the ears, so to speak, and figure out how to do this job of mine better. The joy of the reading journey was sort of lost on me and I thought that was a pity even while I was engaged with Furman's book. I can in every way acknowledge Missional Motherhood to be a worthy read. At the same time, my heart wasn't in it and I had the sobering realization that to be a good mom I didn't need to be spending my immediate time reading a book to tell me how to do better. What I really needed to be ok doing was relaxing with a book that I found purely enjoying and entertaining for enjoyment sake. If a work of fiction fit that bill, I didn't need to bemoan my immature tastes, but just relax and enjoy a good story for the sake of story alone.
I realized something that I think is important: while picking up instructional books which explain life and roles and duties is an important thing to do from time to time, sometimes the best thing one can do is to mentally relax with a fun story. No guilt. No strings attached. Just enjoyment. Sometimes the best thing that I can do to be a better mom is to have fun in my "downtime" so that I'm more relaxed and at peace when I need to be "on."
My personality is pretty intense (as I've said before) and relaxing is not something that comes very naturally to me. Even my "relaxed" reading tends to have a purpose around it which is fine. I can't very well turn my brain off and I wouldn't want to do that. But a thought process that I wrestled with when reading Missional Motherhood was that I'd be a better mother if I didn't feel like reading the book was on my "to do" list, know what I mean? Sure, sometimes I'm going to find an instructional book all kinds of happy but when life is tense and stressful in its own right, I began to see that my reading choices didn't need to be all mentally/spiritually stimulating as well. (Note again: Furman is an excellent writer and she is not writing to guilt!) All I'm saying is that I realized there is value in relaxing and I shouldn't read a book because I feel pressured to learn more about this, that or the other. Rather, I should read a book because I find the book a joy to read. Reading is a joy and a pleasure and to take away from that not only hurts the reader but also the writer who so wants to make a positive connection with their audience.
I really did appreciate Furman. Really. But in this moment of life, reading for the mere fun of it is ok too. In fact, I think it's more than ok. I think it's mentally healthy. Maybe other people won't think my reading choices "mature" but if I can close a book with a sigh and a smile and feel relaxed and ready to tackle the next round of things on my To Do list then I think my reading time was well-spent and plenty productive.
That's all I really want to say. This was a great book. But if I had never read it and read a work of fiction in its place, for the strict purpose of having fun, then that would be ok too. For some of you I imagine that this sounds like common sense but for my sometimes over active and analytical mind, it was something of a break through.
This past weekend I attended the Called to Love retreat for adoptive/foster mothers here in Oregon. It was the first time I had ever attended a women's retreat, let alone one focused on this subject matter. There are reasons for this, one of which I'll explain in a minute. When it comes to the topic of adoption, I find myself shrinking back a bit, truth be told. Sometimes it's because I'm not sure how the subject matter will be handled and sometimes its for more personal reasons. We have adopted three times now and there are some areas where I've really started to feel like I could use some input from people who are ahead of me on this journey. I thought perhaps that this was a good year to set aside the weekend and go check out this conference. Jonathan agreed and so off I went. Double bonus points: one of my good friends went with me so it was guaranteed to be fun no matter what we encountered at the retreat.
The only thing I had really paid much attention to prior to arriving at the conference was the fact that Stephanie Fast was going to be the main speaker on Friday night. I totally love Stephanie and was excited to hear her speak again. I will never, ever, ever get tired of hearing from her. Whenever she talks I want to jump up and down and run around the room. She has a most dynamic faith. She's genuine and real, with a deep faith that challenges and encourages all around her. I find it amazing the ways that God has chosen to use her to share Him with others. But I digress (a little). If I had any further hesitations about attending Called to Love, they vanished upon walking through the doors. Instantly I knew that the weekend was going to be so good. And it was! It was just stunning (and still is blowing me away) to be in a room full of women who know your story because they are living your story. Yes, our names and faces might look different but a great many aspects of our stories look and sound exactly the same. When you meet people and you say, "What? You too? I thought I was the only one." then you know you can be friends. Knowing that the emotions you feel, the struggles you endure, and the victories you cherish are understood by others is one of the greatest blessings in the entire world. 'Phenomenal' doesn't begin to describe it.
Enter: What Led Me To You. At the conference there were a smattering of tables with goods and wares to purchase. If you know me, you know I was looking for the books! And there weren't many which was somewhat distressing. (I do have to say that. The conference needed more books!!) At one table I noticed a friendly looking lady standing beside a pile of friendly looking books. I approached her and discovered that we share the same name, spelled the same way. (Which is, of course, the right way.) I asked her if she wouldn't mind telling me a little bit about her book and she happily obliged.
Carrie Dahlin said that she had a hard time finding books about fostering parenting that were honest about the struggles and real hardships and so she decided to write one herself and the fruit of that decision lies within the pages of What Led Me To You. She and her husband began foster parenting a few years ago and have had an interesting journey which has culminated in a few adoptions as well. Carrie writes about what led them to begin this journey and is quite open about the different hurdles and obstacles they've faced in the midst of everything. She shares their story with gut-wrenching honesty regarding her own emotions at various stages of the journey, a fact which makes this book particularly approachable. If you are looking for a how-to as relates to foster care then this is not your book. If you want to hear someone's heart on the matter, and get an idea of the struggles and the joy mixed up in the process, then this book is a don't miss. She speaks from her heart.
Now, as is the case when someone is writing from their heart, it also reads off more like a conversation than anything else. Reading this book very much feels like a sit-down conversation with Carrie. I feel I can attest to this as in our two brief conversations I found that she spoke very much as she writes. As a result, sometimes you read a passage that is more a stream of consciousness than anything else, but it's not too distracting. If you are thinking about engaging in foster care you likely won't mind her written voice because you'll want to hear how she was feeling at various points in time as it will help to give you a clue of what to expect.
As mentioned, Jonathan and I have adopted three times. We do not feel called to fostering and likely will not do so. However, the door is open for future adoptions if God makes a way for it. I read this book because I was curious about her experiences, because I knew that she had adopted as well as fostered, and because many of the emotions overlap between the two. I stayed up late Friday night in my hotel room reading the first half of her story. The next morning I was able to connect with her over the first of many experiences she had as a foster parent. With this slight introduction, I'm going to make something public which I have never done before but which I feel like I can talk about for the first time ever. Carrie and I had an unfortunate shared experienced upon entering into the foster/adoption world in that we were both falsely accused of harming, or endangering, a child. The details between us differ a bit, but the ultimate reality was that false accusations affected our experience and instilled a certain fear about continuing on our individual journeys. It is a hard thing (understatement) to be falsely accused and to have professionals examining your life to see if the accusations hold water. In both of our cases, we were found altogether 100% innocent but the memory burns. It is not something that you forget. It affects your decisions and choices long after being declared innocent. There is a death of vision when a situation like this occurs and you feel very scared of what people will say and angry about what people have said. False accusations interject confusion. In these half dozen years since, I've not mention it publicly to people because when a person is put "in the know" they tend to speculate whether or not the thing was true. The phrase "grain of truth" is tossed out with raised eyebrows and these statements can be just as damaging as the original accusation. It feeds into doubt and discouragement like nobody's business and continues the hurt. Fear becomes the second weapon used against you and it is almost more effective than the accusation itself.
But here's the ultimate situation: both Carrie and myself are innocent of the accusations. We both understand the pile of ugly feelings. We both know the real source of the accusations and understand that there is one who stands opposed to the idea of adoption just as we know that there is One who models it for us. What matters most is not what people see and think, but what God has called us to. Is it an easy road? We both know the answer to that question is, "No!" It is not easy and yet it is God's good plan for our lives and the lives of the children in our home.
Carrie admits in her book to finding it hard at times to want to please people and have their good opinion. Despite whatever you might think, the same is true of me. It is hard to go against the tide and live a life that most people wouldn't choose because they think it too hard or too risky. It's life on the edge. But here's the thing: the edge is the most exciting place to be!! 'Living to the hilt' is the general idea of all of life!! Is adoption and foster care hard? Yes. On oh so many levels. Is it worth it? Beyond anything you could ask or imagine! Being content in the knowledge that you are walking in the will of God makes all of the hardships, bumps and hiccups ultimately appear as nothing. It's a death to self in some many ways, yes, but that's a good thing! Following hard after Christ is all I ever want to do. Even if and when it hurts.
There are no regrets (foolish to ask this of me) and no wishes for a "do over." There is a great contentment knowing that the children God has given to us were given and placed with a specific reason and purpose in mind. There is a joy in their presence and their company. Sharing family with one another is a blessing I really cannot describe with words. God has used them to change me and used me to change them and we are all on this journey together. The journey continues to improve and become sweeter. Yes, there will be the naysayers and the people who speak words of death but Christ has only words of life and so we focus on Him. If you feel led to pursuing foster care or adoption, educate yourself, seek out (good) advice and, above all, make sure that God has called you to it. If He has - prepare for one of the more wild, fantastic rides of your entire life. It's a good ride.
Christ is front and central of Carrie Dahlin's life and of What Led Me To You and I so appreciated that. If you are thinking about this topic at all, I wouldn't hesitate recommending this read.
If you are an adoptive mom or foster mom, I also can't recommend the annual Called to Love retreat more highly. My faith was strengthened, my soul encouraged and, remarkably to me, I dropped some baggage I had been carrying around unnecessarily. I don't know what the future holds but I do know that there are a great group of women out there engaging in the same battle as myself. Knowing that they exist adds fuel to my fire.
I'll end with a song that we sang at the conference which I cannot get out of my head. It ministered to me deeply as its messages spreads itself out over our entire family history and story.
You were reaching through the storm,
walking on the water
Even when I could not see.
In the middle of it all,
when I thought You were a thousand miles away
Not for a moment did You forsake me,
Not for a moment did You forsake me
Life lately has just been busy and crazy. I know I keep saying that, but it's true! It's not crazy in an unpleasant way but in such a way that no matter how many books I manage to squeeze in here and there, there doesn't seem to be time for writing about them. This bothers me because I find that if I do not write out my full thoughts on the books I read I tend to forget what the story was all about. Take for example Anne, my long time friend, and literary favorite.
Today I just wanted to take a few minutes to document the fact that I have been making progress on the Anne series. This past summer I started reading the Anne books again in preparation for our visit to Prince Edward Island back in June. I finished Anne of the Island as our plane was landing on the Island which was perfection itself, if I do say so myself. Looking back at the ol' blog though, it would appear that I never wrote up my thoughts on that re-read. I meant to. Oh well.
I took Anne of Windy Poplars with me on our trip to England and read it over there. That and Robin Hood were my books of choice for that trip. (I've gotten halfway through Robin Hood but Anne was finished.) Again, I wrote nothing about the read, but moved along to Anne's House of Dreams. It's like a bad pattern or something!
I've really been enjoying spending time with the adult Anne again. It's been awhile since that happened and there were so many characters and situations I had forgotten. It was lovely visiting with Captain Jim again, in particular. What a fine friend and admirable creature is he! It was fun to see Anne and Gilbert adjust to married life, although it did seem a bit idealistic. I'd forgotten that they decided to spend their honeymoon in their own house of dreams. Jonathan and I sort of did that too. We were scheduled to spend our honeymoon at a hotel on the Oregon coast but it was rainy and cold and rather miserable and so we decided to spend time at our new home which was much more relaxing and enjoyable. When you finally get to start your life together it's really nice to be able to do it in the place where you intend to actually live your life, I think. Plus there's just less pressure to live up to some romantic idea of what a perfect honeymoon might look like if you keep it low key. We're huge proponents of starting a marriage off "quietly" and then taking a trip after you've had time to adjust to and get to know one another a little better. This allows you to pick a vacation out together that suits you both much more than what society seems to expect of you. That's a side bunny trail, I do realize. (Heh.) Lots of people go off and have perfectly lovely, fun getaways. Ours just mirrored Anne and Gilbert's a little bit more closely and was idea for us at that time.
It's also interesting to see Anne mature as an adult as she experiences more of life's sorrows and joys. Particularly in Anne's House of Dreams I enjoyed her interactions with the sad Leslie Moore. Leslie's life has consistently been one of immeasurable hardships while Anne's journey looks a bit different. Anne's life might have started out rough but it became more calm and joyful post-Green Gables. Anne has enough understanding of pain to be able to sympathize with Leslie but Leslie keeps Anne at bay because she resents Anne her present joys. It isn't until Anne experiences a deep sorrow of her own that Leslie feels like she can begin to relate to Anne. Isn't that just life? The relationship between these two young women totally epitomizes what we all do to one another. If we think another person has a more joy-filled existence than we do, we keep them at arm's length. If we think their problems are too big for us, we keep them at arm's length. If we don't want them to see our problems, we keep them at arm's length. We Christians (yes, let's get specific) have a terrible time obeying the verse that says we are to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. (Romans 12:15) We act like that's just a suggestion to us. But it is not; it's a command. Perhaps if we didn't spend all of our time avoiding that verse and instead focused on obeying it, we would have better relationships with one another. I know that the times I've made a conscious decision to set aside my feelings (which are transient) and focus instead on obeying that verse (which is a firm, unwavering command) I find I enjoy life with my brothers and sisters more. Also, I know the blessing of being a recipient of the supportive emotions of a friend even when I know it's a struggle for them to be happy and/or to weep with or for me. I know there have been times when it puts people out to rejoice with me, or to understand my weeping. But when another Christian takes the time to do that it's an immense and immeasurable blessing. Likewise, when Leslie and Anne finally got on board with each other's lives in a more holistic way, their friendship blossomed and bloomed. Theirs is a friendship that screams Romans 12:15 at me and I'd forgotten what a perfect illustration that they are to that.
Ok, so maybe this isn't a normal review and mostly it's just a note to say that I read the above two titles. I guess this will have to work for now. I'll try not to be a broken record about this crazy stage of life. It's not all that crazy, it's mostly just an adjustment period. Eventually it will be normal and I'll quit saying "I don't have time to write this up!" I promise that I'm aware that I'm gathering perspective and just needing to figure out how to adjust my priorities. If you see a few sloppy, patchwork reviews in the meantime, at least you'll understand why.
I really don't know when or for how long I've assigned personality to numbers. I mentioned the other day that I've always viewed the number 8 as a dapper fellow and a couple of you asked to hear what I think of the rest of the the numbers. I'll play your game and answer your question. ;)
0 - male; wallflower; completely ignored; unsuspecting
1 - male; leader of the pack; steady and hard working; honest
2 - female; wallflower type; not a number that I really notice
3 - male; happy-go-lucky
4 - female; straight shooter; doesn't dilly dally around
5 - male; a jock, of sorts; no one really likes five; too popular
6 - male; dependable; reliable
7 - male; the perfect number; kind of guy everyone wants to marry
8 - male; dapper fellow with good manners but somewhat cheeky
9 - female; smart; independent
10 - male; the number family patriarch
I remember being in grade school and mentioning to a friend what each number's personality was. I remember her being curious but I didn't concentrate too deeply on her response. Numbers just are who they are and cannot be changed. I also remember being age nine or ten and staring at a street address, trying to figure out how that worked because the numbers weren't pared well and wouldn't necessarily get along. I did not think this was weird or unusual. I still don't. (Heh.)
Apparently noticing personalities in association with colors, numbers or letters has a name. It's called synesthesia. If you look at the wikipedia page it claims that this is a condition that is frequently inherited but can also be brought upon by drugs (hallucinations) or a stroke. I haven't had a stroke and I have never taken drugs in my life. I have no idea whether or not I inherited it. I seldom think about it. Numbers are what they are and I can't really change that and so we proceed about our daily business.
According to a different website, people with synesthesia are more likely to be left handed (I'm right-handed) and are of normal ("or possibly above average") intelligence. We needn't argue over such things. (ha!)
Other people with this "condition" include:
Franz Liszt
Duke Ellington
Itzhak Perlman
Stevie Wonder
Truly I don't really think much about it. I don't find it curious that I do this. But when I stop and think about it, it could be sort of funny. Hence I'm willing to post this. Enjoy. :)
I've always liked the number 8. It just looks pretty. (Confession: I've always attributed personalities to numbers. The number 8 has always been male in my mind. Sort of a dapper fellow with good manners but just a little bit cheeky at the same time.)
Today is significant for me, Jonathan and the number 8. We've been married 8 years today. Which means we've known each other for over a decade (which is weird so we we won't think much on that)!
And these have been eight of the most crazy, beautiful, hectic, chaotic, terrifying, humbling, miserable, exhilarating, exhausting and happy years of our lives. (I can say that without asking Jonathan. Because it's true. Ha. So there.)
Do I love him better than I did when I say "I do"? What a silly question. You learn to love for real after your married - when life comes along and you are forced to move with it. When hard decisions have to be made and you have to make a conscious choice to stay a team no matter what. When God gives you little people to raise together - and who expose you further for who you really are, warts and all. Is marriage magical? Moments are. And then there are moments which aren't. We've had to battle how to make it through another hour with each other and then how to come back and make things right between us. And you know what? I respect him all the more for coming back to conversations when they do not promise to be pretty. I have grown in respect and admiration - and love, yes - through the nitty gritty. It's seeing the staying power during the harder times that make the good times better. I know we'll stand with one another through anything because when the going gets tough, one or both of us always points the other to Christ who is the only hope and answer when it comes to weathering the storms. Our relationship with Jesus Christ helps us to go on holding hands when the wind blows.
We continue to learn. We continue to grow. We continue to fail and succeed, laugh and cry, plant trees, mow lawns, do laundry, wipe little noses, can vegetables, go to work, play piano, read stories, pick up trash and sit down to dinner all together as a family. It seems to always be getting better and harder at the same time.
And I wouldn't trade it. Because I'm blessed by it.
And again, in song:
Still (and predictably) -
A little country (for kicks) that is funny and not -
Yup (check out all the little hearts all through the lyrics) -
(Coincidentally, Clint Black wrote the above song for his wife on their 8th anniversary. And they are still married.)
And just in case we ever forget the processional at our wedding (which still manages to make me cry!):
Non nobis Domine, non nobis Domine,
sed nomine tuo da gloriam Non nobis Domine, non nobis Domine, s
Someone is 2 today. Instead of a book review, I'd direct your attention over to Living Like a Narnian where I've talked about how this little pink princess rocked my world.
Happy Birthday to my sweet, spunky daughter! You are very loved.
Disclaimer: This is not a book-related post. I just wanted to write this out for myself. Barbara from Stray Thoughts wrote up a post talking about 12 themes in her life. (She followed after Sherry at Semicolon in sharing these things.)
I thought that was a curious idea and decided to see if I could pick out twelve themes I've seen running throughout my entire life. It's an interesting thing to think about because everyone's themes vary to some extent or another, signaling the fact that God has created us all uniquely different and valuable.
Here are the themes of my life, as I see them (but because one of my themes is music, I'm going to put a song into the mix that I think best represents each theme to me):
1. God. I became a Christian at the age of 8. It wasn't life transforming or anything. I was eight! And I had been raised in a Christian home. I considered myself extremely blessed to have had a healthy, safe childhood and so my faith had opportunity to grow strong from even a young age. I'm enormously grateful for that because my adult years have been much more turbulent and I'm grateful for a secure upbringing in which I had parents who taught me always to look to God for help, wisdom, provision, and - ultimately - salvation.
2. The Church. My father was a worship leader and he led worship at the churches we attended growing up. I was taught early and often that the Church is the Bride of Christ and no matter what pain is experienced in it (and we've have certainly had plenty!) it is still the Bride of Christ and is not something that you are to walk away from. God has a particular design and purpose for it and we are not to dismiss it or discount it's value. No, it does not always operate perfectly. No one should expect it to.
(Note: I think the images chosen from this song are less than....great. It's strictly about the lyrics, people!)
3. Music. I played piano for about five years when I was growing up for two reasons: a.) my dad wanted me to and b.) my best friend was taking lessons. But I wasn't very good at it. (It might be that I just didn't like to think about theory. I'm not that detailed oriented, nor am I mathematically inclined!) At any rate, I haven't played an instrument since I was a teen. I can carry a tune in a bucket but it's not a thoroughly glorious sound. However, my dad was a music major (voice) and played the piano and guitar. Did I mention he led worship at the churches we attended? Music was a part of our home. Then I married a man who played a piano and sang and so music continues to be important. Worship music, in particular, really ministers to me and I find myself drawn to it and undone by it at the same time.
4. Books. I feel kind of silly listing it as it seems rather a given. But truly, they are a running theme and so they must be included in the list! I have read books all my life. The older I get, the more I appreciate a well-written book. The more I fall in love with books. Now - a song. I am left with this one because I think the world needs people who love the written word to encourage the rest to think and imagine and dream. Just like musicians feel like we should all feel truth through music (and I can understand that to some extent) I think books should do the same. We're all different in what moves us and drives us and this song rather represents that (that and I just love it):
5. Words. I have a somewhat rocky relationship with words. As someone who knew me when I was much younger recently said to me, "I remember you being a child of very decided opinions." (As it turns out, I grew up into a woman of equally decided opinions.) But I hope that I have learned to express them in a more healthy manner! As I say, I have struggled with words: when to speak them, when to hold them in, how to choose them. I'm still learning exactly how to manage my words and God faithfully keeps providing me lessons and opportunities to learn! Writing has had its place in this struggle, as I learn to think through what it is I want to say and say it in such a way as to be properly understood. I enjoy the challenge here at Reading to Know. Most of the time. ;) I do believe that the words we say matter a great deal and that they will have an effect so it is rather excruciatingly important to choose your words well. But just because I know that doesn't mean it's easy!
6. Justice. I've also always been a very black-and-white personality. I have been informed that there is a gray but I cannot see it most of the time. (heh!) One thing I particularly have a hard time dealing with is real or perceived injustices. I greatly dislike false accusations. I developed a passionate hatred for the false accusations when I was a teen and my feelings have only grown more acutely intense since that time. I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut (words!) when I see someone be falsely or lazily accused of something that is just not true. (I also have a tremendously difficult time dealing with this when I'm personally accused of doing/saying/thinking something that I did not do/say or think!) When I do see it, I tend not to be able to ignore it.
7. Friendship. I have the most amazing friends. I really do. I always have (whether they've stayed in my life or moved out of it due to any variety of natural reasons). I'm not the sort that feels like every friend I make has to be my friend for life (although I always hope for it). I DO have a few that I have been friends with since I was a young girl. But some last only for particular seasons. I have been blessed with the perfect friends for me to suit the seasons and trials of life at any given time AND those who have stuck by me through the thick and thin of it all. This song has always inspired me because it defines friendship the way I believe friendship ought to be executed (and I've had the blessing of experiencing a time or three):
8. Quiet. I think it is only in the past few years that I've realized how much I need quiet in order to think, imagine and dream. I used to think I was more of an extrovert. (Ha! I laugh.) I'm very much an introvert. I don't feel the need to leave the house very frequently - and definitely not to spend time in the company of others. When I have a night out, I enjoy spending it alone. When things are quiet and I am able to be still I find motivation to be creative in some way. I thrive in alone time. It doesn't come often at present, and that is just as it should be, but I do appreciate all of the time Jonathan does provide for me to just be quiet. (You may find this ironic but despite the fact that I find it in me to write very long-ish blog posts, I'm remarkably quiet in person. Especially when I'm just getting to know people. The older I get, the quieter I get. . . . . That's probably a good thing.)
9. Plans. I'm a woman who usually always has a plan. I have a plan for dinner, a plan for tomorrow morning and a plan for ten years from now. I've always had plans. I just like to make them! I think this is sometimes confused for being someone who likes to have things just so. But let me set the record straight: I don't really care (terribly) if my plans do not come to pass. (That is, unless it was one that I had grown particularly attached to.) Most of my plans I'm not enormously attached to but I like them al the same. They give me a direction to walk in. If something comes up and changes the plan - or I discover the plan is not working like I thought it was going to - I'm fairly quick to shift gears. (This drove Jonathan, who likes making plans in order to keep them, crazy for the first few years of our marriage!) Now I know to make plans that are reasonable and he knows that the best laid plans can fall apart. Ha! And then sometimes we both just have to realize that our plan wasn't exactly God's plan and needs some revision.
10. Contentment. I'm admittedly not very good with this. I can look backwards and see that in my history, I'm always on the lookout for what's going to happen next. When something happens or I receive something I think, "Ok, great! What next?" I have a hard time stopping and enjoying moments. I feel like a hamster on a wheel sometimes, unable to get off and just enjoy the....cage? Perhaps there's a better analogy. ;) Taking a breather from one project to another is not something that comes very naturally. I'm always looking over the horizon. The fact that I do this finally (?) struck me with some degree of force a week or so ago and I've been contemplating all the areas where I am discontent and therefore suffer also from impatience. ("I'll be happy if ____" or "When ______ is over then I can relax.") I can "take joy" now. And I need to. So that is what I'm thinking a lot about at the moment, because I also realize that life is very, very short. Although this song focuses on money, I think suits where I'm at right at this moment.
11. Hope. I did have a remarkably healthy childhood which, when I look back on it, I find it rather amazing that I did. Dad was frequently out of work, we were part of small churches and they went through changes which affected relationships. But I always did hope and believe that things would work out somehow, someway. As an adult and a mother I have experienced many things with Jonathan that would want to defeat us emotionally and spiritually. But for hope. Believing that God would be faithful and good to work things out allowed us to keep taking steps forward. Hope is an amazing thing. Life wants to end without it. With it? Anything truly is possible! Especially when the Lord is at the helm of one's life.
12. Redemption. No matter what has fallen apart and no matter in what manner, God has been faithful to redeem my mistakes, forgive me of my sins and to cleanse me from all unrighteousness. He has pieced back together the most broken of relationships. He has made me to forget things that seared me to the core. He is faithful. He is faithful. He is faithful. In the darkest moments, He has made Himself known. He has redeemed. He has transformed. He is so amazingly good and gracious and I am a grateful and completely undeserving recipient. God has been doing and will still be doing a good work in me. I trust and hope and believe that He will be faithful to complete it.
Ok, ready to get to know each other better? If nothing else, you'll get to know me better. (And I get away without having to write a book review fresh off of Thanksgiving holidays! ;)
Last week I posted a few suggested questions that you could answer and I'll pick and choose a few of those for my own post. (Because hey, I already did the "hard work" of thinking about them!)
Ultimately, I'll answer 7 questions. Why seven? Because seven is the number of completion in the Bible and I've always liked it. (I use to want seven kids. Completion. Get it? But then I had my first.)
Question #1 - Do you go to church and, if so, what denomination are you a part of and why?
Yes, I do go to church. Now that you are all surprised by that answer (read: sarcasm), I'll be more specific and let you know that we attend an Orthodox Presbyterian Church. Every time I say that I conjur up images in my mind of incense and swinging cross necklesses. It's not like that. You can learn more about the OPC on their website if you are truly curious. (It is conservative.)
Each congregation differs in personality and in some practicies. We live on the West Coast and are in a university town and I would have to say that our church is more liberal in many ways than I am used to (having been raised in the south). As in most churches, there are always things I would like to see change. ;) But because I also firmly believe that there is no such thing as a perfect church (so long as humans are in them) we must commit ourselves to a body, learn from the teaching of the word, worship corporately and use the gifts and talents which God has given us to minister to others in His church.
Question #2 - What social issue are you the most passionate about?
I would have to say abortion. I believe that God is the giver and sustainer of life and that we are not permitted to take life. I believe that life begins the moment of conception and that every human being has purpose and meaning. I do not believe that God makes mistakes and that He is working, always, for our ultimate good - even in what we think are bad situations.
Question #3 - What is your greatest personality strength? Weakness?
This is always the awkward question in an interview process, isn't it? What to say about one's self?
I would say that I have learned (both in real life and online) that one of my greatest strengths is in persuading others to think or believe in certain ways. As is usually the case, one's greatest strength is also their greatest weakness. I have also learned (the hard way!) that I need to be careful not to always share my opinion - or to be slower in sharing them - as I can unintentionally change circumstances or set activities in motion that no one is really prepared for (myself included).
I do think it is important to be aware of one's strengths (they are gifts!) as well as their weaknesses (they are challenges which keep one humble!) as you can make or break relationships when you understand how you come across to others.
Question #4 - What do you like best about your family?
I'll answer as to my immediate family only. This includes: Jonathan, myself, and our three children. The thing I like about it is also the thing I confess to not like about it. (Again, it's our strength and our weakness.)
I like that we are different from one another. Mostly, I like that there is one who is more different than four of us. (huh?!) We adopted our second born from S. Korea and he is very different from us - both in appearance and in personality. As to the appearance, we don't notice it except for when we're out in public and other people notice it. (We've never run into anyone who has been negative about our difference. All responses have been remarkably positive.)
Adoption is a beautiful, wonderful thing. It is also a very challenging thing as you learn to incorporate gifts and traits which are completely unfamiliar to you into your home and family. Our agency prepped us in several classes and courses to prepare for the unfamiliar but real life is different than a story you overhear. Sometimes Bookworm2 will do something and we are left wondering, "Where'd the heck did THAT come from!?" and the answer always is: "We don't know. And we won't know." When your natural born children do say or do something in a particular way, you know that they "got that from their dad" or whatever. With Bookworm2 it's all a guess. And that's ok but it means we have to work hard to accept things we don't know or don't understand. It's not the easiest thing in the world but it is the best thing in the world for us.
Jonathan and I are both first-borns (a fact I like!) and we are always operating with a plan and a mission in mind. Bookworm2 changed us - changes us - and causes us to pause and reevaluate things in light of his personality. This is a very. good. thing. We have been very blessed to have him such a huge part of our lives. (I do not say that lightly! We are indeed blessed.)
To give a quick example to further illustrate what I mean by blessed: Bookworm2 is actually way more friendly and outgoing than we are. So he stretches us to stop and talk to Random Stranger on the Street and be friendly when we are otherwise in a great hurry. He really loves people. Not to say that we hate them - because we don't. It's just that we're so focused on our projects and missions that we don't slow down and notice others so easily. So he is good for us, you see!
Question #5 - Which book blogger have you know the longest?
"B" from Dwell in Possibility. How long have I known her? Since both of us were wearing diapers. (Our families went to church together and our parents were friends.) We were part of the same home school group growing up and the first book club I was ever a part of us was organized by her. She is really cool and crazy smart and I always found her to be intimidating. I still do. ;) She is also one of the most different-in-a-very-interesting-way sort of people I have ever known. I mean that as a great compliment as so many in our social circle were so very alike that being different was a good thing.
My dad considered her dad one of his best friends and when my dad died, B's parents came to see him at the very end. They showed great kindness and love for my parents - and myself- during a remarkably difficult time and I'll not soon forget that! B comes from good stock! ;)
Question #6 - If you were to write a book, what genre would it be?
It would definitely be non-fiction. It would likely be relating to my faith. And I'm too immature and young to be writing anything at this point in my life. If it ever happens, I woud have to assume that it'll be non-fiction unless lightning strikes and I'm overwhelmed by a story idea.
Question #7 - What is your idea of a perfect day?
The perfect day very much involves the following:
1. Sleeping very well, waking up no earlier than 8 a.m.;
2. Doing something that I've never done before, i.e., enjoying a new experience of some sort;
3. Doing said new and interesting thing with people I love; and
4. Having time to read a chapter or two in a really great book before going to bed.
If those four things happen (and, on rare occasions, they do!) then I will have had the perfect day.
Bonus question: What's your favorite month of the year?
DECEMBER!
A few pictures:
Me. Age 34. (Having recently cut my hair short for the first time in awhile!)
Some pics of my children:
On the left: Bookworms 1 and 2 playing Knight and Dragon. On the right: All my bookworms reading books in a tent, escaping the Oregon rainy season.
Now it's your turn! Do you have a post to share to help me (and the rest of us!) get to know you better? I hope so! Leave a comment with your link in the comment section below!
Posts
. At the conference there were a smattering of tables with goods and wares to purchase. If you know me, you know I was looking for the books! And there weren't many which was somewhat distressing. (I do have to say that. The conference needed more books!!) At one table I noticed a friendly looking lady standing beside a pile of friendly looking books. I approached her and discovered that we share the same name, spelled the same way. (Which is, of course, the right way.) I asked her if she wouldn't mind telling me a little bit about her book and she happily obliged.
as our plane was landing on the Island which was perfection itself, if I do say so myself. Looking back at the ol' blog though, it would appear that I never wrote up my thoughts on that re-read. I meant to. Oh well.
with me on our trip to England and read it over there. That and Robin Hood were my books of choice for that trip. (I've gotten halfway through Robin Hood but Anne was finished.) Again, I wrote nothing about the read, but moved along to 
. It's like a bad pattern or something!
