Friday, July 20, 2007

10 Authors I Would Ban (if I lived in a dream world)

1. Danielle Steele (Because she works in direct opposition to Philippians 4:8.)

2. Marcus Borg (For the confusion he brings.)

3. Alexandra Ripley (For writing Scarlett and ruining Mitchell's original creation.)

4. Karen Kingsbury (This has nothing to do with Ms. Kingsbury. This has everything to do with the emotions she calls into play for young Christian women who think that such stories are real. I know nothing about Ms. Kingsbury and am sure she means well and works hard. It just distracts.)

5. Isaac Asimov (For being arrogant; although I like his space triology.)

6. Charles Dickens (For being so boring; and for tormenting me mercilessly.)

7. Ann M. Martin (For giving us The Babysitter Club.)

8. Roger Lea MacBride (Capitalizing on Laura Ingalls Wilder's fame.)

9. Lemony Snickett (BLEH. I say again, "BLEH!")

10. Martha Finley (For giving us Elsie Dinsmore. Need I say more?)


Sherry said...

Ban Dickens! Ah, I could live without the others, but Oliver and David and Little Em'ly and Pip and the great pantheon of characters Dickens created. How ooor our culture would be without Dickens!

Sherry said...

Poor, not ooor.

Suzanne said...

Oh my, how did Phillip Pullman escape this list?

KarenW said...

Charles Dickens is the only one I've read on your list. I love A Christmas Carol. I would have to add Barbara Park for giving us Junie B. Jones. I just can't stand her bratty attitude.

Carrie said...

FYI - I listed Charles Dickens because it seems like I'm SUPPOSED to have read him and I'm SUPPOSED to like him and I just don't. So if his books had never been written I wouldn't have to live with this guilt. Hence, he landed on the list!

Unknown said...

Oh, you're always SO funny and bold!

I agree about Danielle Steele, but only because I've been thinking so much lately about how reading her novels (at WAY too early an age--maybe 15?), did give me a hunger for that which it should not have.

I have to say that I my daughter really enjoys the BSC and some other books that she's discovered by Ann Martin. I challenge you to read something else by her. I think that A Dog's Life: The Autobiography of a Stray looks great and I've been wanting to read it myself.

Sky said...

My Additions;
Stephen King should be banned because the books are stupid and badly written.
Nora Roberts for writing about secrets and murders as if they were to be dwelt upon.
RL Stine for Goosebumps.
Marion Zimmer Bradley for Mists of Avalon.

Mirlandra said...

Carrie!!! What ever am I to do with you!!! I must call you out! You just have not given Dickens the time he needs. Unfortunatally, he can go on a bit, but when he is good he is amazing!!!!! Bleak house is one of my favorite stories ever! And one of his longest. Some of his stuff is teriable, and very sad, but so importnat to his age. His stuff is very much social commentary for the Victorians, probablly more important for them to read it than for us, but his "tidbits" are some of the best there are . . . .

"Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlaying our hard hearts."
- Charles Dickens, From Great Expectations

Every time I read that, it's like a punch. So - one of these days, I am goign to talk you into watching the OPB Bleak House, it's long, but wonderful!!!

- M

B said...

Oh, Carrie. I now know why we get along so well!! I HATE Dickens. You should read Evelyn's Waugh's A Handful of Dust. It has this great scene in it in which hell is likened to an eternity of being forced to read Dickens. And my sister-in-law bought me a Karen Kingsbury book. I conveniently forgot it in Hawaii...

Mercy's Maid said...

Please don't ban Lemony Snicket! I love him. :) I also enjoyed The Babysitter's Club when I was younger. I would say she introduced me to the idea of reading for pleasure.

Carrie said...

For the record I also read all the Babysitter Club books which were available in my time. Which is why I would ban her. ;D

Diary of an Autodidact said...

I ran across this one looking for your Alan Bradley review, BTW.

I say give Asimov a chance too. His short stories are my favorite of his works, but I should mention his guide to Shakespeare. The idea isn't promising, but it really is good and useful. Asimov explains all of the historical and literary allusions, and also helps with a number of archaic words. I never would have bought it for myself, but it now has a cherished place in my library.

Top  blogs