I Read It! At Jennifer's House!

Hey all! I hope you had a fabulous week last week. I just got back from CT and NY where I attending the Book Expo and Book Blogger conference in New York City. Jennifer was my host and I enjoyed being out on the East Coast for this event. (Stay tuned to hear more about my trip tomorrow!)

Of course, while I was at Jennifer's house, I took the opportunity given to read some of the books that she has been recommending to us at 5 Minutes for Books. One of the books she had reviewed was Toxic Friends (click on the title to read her review) and I had been curious about it so she stuck it in her guest room for me to read.

Having just re-read her review of Toxic Friends, I'd have to say it is pretty thorough and I don't have a whole lot to add to it.

As Jennifer mentioned, author Susan Shapiro Barash lists ten types of friends:

* The Leader
* The Doormat
* The Sacrificer
* The Misery Lover
* The User
* The Intimate Frenemy
* The Trophy friend
* The Mirroring Friend
* The Sharer
* The Authentic Friend

Barash gives a decent look and basic definition of each type of friend, giving the reader some questions to ask themselves about the type of company that they are keeping. The idea is that the reader is able to identify what types of friends they have, pinpoint any difficulties, and make any healthy relationship changes that might be necessary to live more happily and peacefully.

She writes, "The key is to establish healthy ways to interact with women friends so that instead of feeling tied to the person, you feel there is a shared benefit." (page 254)

(I don't know if I'd agree with that statement in it's entirety though. I jotted down the quote and have been inwardly debating what the importance and priority of having "shared benefit" is. I can think of a lot of healthy friendships wherein a "shared benefit" is not immediately visible to the eye. But then again . . . Well. What do you think?)

The value of having friendships is noted by this author and she takes care to leave any decision making to the reader, when it comes to deciding what friendships need changing or rearranging. I would say that she mirrors scriptural advice quite well when she makes the following statement in this book:

" . . . the bottom line is that friendship, like romances and mothering, require constancy, energy and awareness." (page 246)

True, honest-to-goodness authentic friendships do not come cheap or easy. They take a great deal of nurture and care and you have to really WANT the friendship and be willing to work (hard) for it to make it last. I think that's true across the board. Anything worth having is going to cost you something - you just have to decide if the cost is worth it!

I really don't know who to recommend this book to. I think it spells things out in a practical and "hip" sort of way (i.e., "frenemy") and is, at the very least, an interesting read. Being that humans are naturally relational, it's good to think through why we have the friends that we do from time to time. I think it's easy not to give a lot of thought to the relationships that we build with others. Furthermore, today's society makes it hard to "dig deep" into friendships and explore them for the blessings that they are or could be. Making wise choices when it comes to friendship is certainly a topic that could stand a little attention and for that reason, I enjoyed this read.

Thanks, Jennifer, for setting it out for me!

*****
ATTENTION: DAWN!

You'll be happy to note that I also rectified another deficiency of mine while at Jennifer's house. Having never read Mo Willems, I browsed through Kyle's reading basket and read the following titles:





And they WERE funny. And I DID laugh. And while I was reading them, Kyle walked into the room and declared, "OH! I LOVE Elephant and Piggie."

Dawn, you'll be happy to note that I, too, am a converted Elephant and Piggie fan. I think that's the extent to which I can claim a love for Willems at the moment, being that those are the only books I've read. But I thought you would be pleased. It's progress - right?

You're welcome.

A week off!

I've never declared a blog vacation. But! This week I'm gonna do it! I'm taking a week off from blogging and I'm not even allowing myself to pre-schedule posts. Because even that is work and I think a brain break is a good idea.

If you just can't STAND a week away from me (ha!ha!ha!) you can check out what I've been talking about at 5 Minutes for Books if you don't normally do so. Two of my "fun finds" of late have been the following (click on the links to see my review):



We Were Here First: Baby Blues comics! (I've been re-indulging in comics of late. It's fun. Don't judge. ha!)

My Quotable Kid - an AWESOME way to keep a record of all the hilarious things your kids say. Or that mine say. (I LOVE the toddler years!)

Then, just a fun Christian fiction read that I enjoyed:



Genoa Bay, by Bette Nordberg

There. That should hold you over at least a little while! =D In the meantime, I hope you all have an AWESOME week and a delightful Memorial Day celebration! See you back here after then!

Masterpiece, by Elise Broach

Now to end the week on a rather fun note...

You know how I mentioned that we went to Powells a bit ago? Well, I had a little fun browsing around and one of the books that I picked up was Masterpiece, by Elise Broach.

The premise looked like it had some promise to it - a family of beetles inhabits the wall behind the kitchen sink of the Pompadays' New York City apartment. Eleven-year-old James Pompaday is kind of a lonely kid who feels out of place living with his (rather neurotic) mom and step-father. James' artist father is rather ridiculously out of touch with his son, giving him a pen-and-ink set for his birthday. James doesn't really know what to do with the set, so he lays it on his desk with a sigh.

So far in this description, I think it's kind of sounding depressing. However, Marvin the Beetle has some great artistic talent and in order to brighten up James' birthday, he decides he'll use the ink that was gifted to James to create a drawing for him. James' mother discovers the drawing, incorrectly yet understandably believes that James has great talent, and starts 'talking her son up.'

Through this confusion, Marvin the Beetle and James the boy discover one another and become friends on this art history mystery book. What makes the story even more intriguing is that Broach took a twenty year break between writing the first few chapters and then completing the book and seeing it through to publication!

My one and only caution in a recommendation is in saying that the book does deal with the theme of divorce. Normally I wouldn't really go for a book where divorce is such a heavy theme. I'm not out to pretend that it doesn't exist, but I do think that society treats the idea of divorce as if it's no big deal. "Everybody does it." But that doesn't remove the pain of it. Divorce IS a big deal and, quite frankly, too prevalent in today's day and age. If I felt that this book was condoning our present day approach to divorce, I wouldn't feel very enthusiastic at all about recommending it. But, after the initial description of James' family make-up, that subject matter faded away and Marvin emerged into a lovable beetle (if there ever could be such a thing!) and a good friend to James.

The story in Masterpiece revolves around some pen-and-ink drawings which are going to be stolen from the Metropolitan Museum of Art. "James" is called in to try to recreate an art piece that is going to be stolen. Only the whole scheme for having the original masterpiece stolen falls apart and, in the end, James and Marvin are involved in trying to catch an art thief. Broach does a fantastic job weaving in the history of various art thefts and talks about the importance, value and beauty of some of the great art masterpieces. Furthermore, she uses her imagination in introducing us to Marvin, a beetle with artistic talent in his front legs.

The book was awesome!

I found the story to ultimately be charming and well-told. I'm definitely hanging on to it for future reads with my kids - with the caveat that they have to be old enough to discuss divorce before reading it so that we can discuss that aspect of the story. In all other respects - imaginative fun and I'm delighted with it! I'm definitely happy to have found it.

Any books out there that have been fun surprises for you? Books you didn't expect a great deal from but then were delighted by what you found inside? What were they? I'd love to hear about your own self discoveries this happy Friday. In the meantime - enjoy your weekend!

Elijah: A Man of Heroism and Humility

So far this year I've read the following books from Charles Swindoll's Great Lives Series and this is what I've learned from each:

1. I am created for a purpose (David);
2. God will work that purpose in His time frame (Esther);
3. God will work in ways that may be painful, but He will teach me to live in the pain, through the pain and beyond it and can work in me a tender heart as a result of it (Joseph); and
4. God honors faithful obedience (Moses).

Elijah: A Man of Heroism and Humility is one of the shorter books in this series, weighing in at only 175 pages. However, it packs a punch in a rather surprising manner.

Whenever I think of Elijah, I think of him standing on a mountaintop, taunting the priests of Baal into ridiculousness. Elijah is victorious and triumphant in my mind; he is a leader of the pack!

I typically do not think of Elijah as one who was removed by God from society for a period of years in order to be alone. I think of Elijah as a powerful and amazing man....not as one who sat by a brook being fed by ravens in quiet solitude.

I have to say that it's becoming more difficult for me to want to pick up the next book in this series and parts of me want to stop and not continue. However, I said I was going to read this series this year because I knew it would be beneficial. Beneficial, as you know, is not always fun and exciting. It was with some trepidation and feet dragging that I picked up Elijah this month. And it's with even more foot dragging and trepidation that I'm sitting down to write up my thoughts on it! But that's part of the exercise and I can't squeak by and pretend I forgot.

Elijah had just delivered a message to the king when we find him. The message Elijah had to deliver was not so popular. What was it, you ask? "No rain." There would be no rain in the land until Elijah said so. If I were a king, and some prophet of the Lord came up to me and told me I was wicked and therefore there would be no rain in the land for some time, I'd be a bit, well, ticked off. As you can imagine, the king in this story is not exactly a happy camper. But Elijah is doing as he has been told by God - he is speaking truth to a wicked king. He is delivering punishment to a people who have turned their back on God. Immediately after fulfilling this duty - God calls him aside and tells him to go live by a brook where he will find nourishment from the water and from the birds of the air (who will be delivering his meals to him as needed.)

Now imagine you are Elijah. You've just done what the Lord has called you to do - and that's probably a hard thing. Now what? Are you looking for the pat on the back? The words of affirmation? Those warm fuzzies we all love to receive at the end of a job well done? Instead of God exalting Elijah for his obedience in delivering a hard message, God removes him from society and sends him out for some time of solitude and soul searching. It's not expected. In fact it is unexpected! But that's the way God is. You're walking along, being as obedient as you can, and suddenly you find yourself in a position you never imagined yourself to be in. In a lot of ways - you are alone. Alone with God. And since you can't see Him with your physical eyes and you can't hear Him with your ears you've gotta be wondering what's going on.

Swindoll writes:

"While there is certainly nothing wrong with being a leader or fulfilling the role of spokesman for God, how easy it is to become addicted to the public forum, or to feel that we are indispensable to God's plan. How easy to neglect, ignore or overlook those occasions when we need to pull back, regroup, rethink, and renew our souls. (Chapter 2, page 28)

As a first born, let me tell you that this is NOT the message I wanted to be hearing. I don't like to be told, for lack of a better phrase, to "sit down and shut up." That's a really unpleasant message in and of itself. To be alone? To be quiet? To just listen and learn what God would have for me in the stillness? That's a really hard place for me to be.

"Yet even as His servant is passing through the heat of the refiner's fire, God has not forgotten him. Remember, Elijah is "inscribed on the palm of His hands" (Isaiah 49:16)
God knows where he is. "Then the word of the Lord came to him" (1 Kings 17:8). God knows where we are. Sometimes we forget this. Sometimes we even feel that God has forgotten us. He hasn't. God knows exactly where we are. So when you are afflicted with those forsaken feelings, when you're on the verge of throwing a pity party, thanks to those despairing thoughts, go back to the Word of God. In the heat of the crucible, seek out passages such as Isaiah 41:10:

"Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."

In these and a multitude of other great promises, God says, "I know where you are." What comfort!" (Chapter 3, page 46)

What comfort indeed!

I know I would not voluntarily step into a quiet place with God, by halting life in order to listen. My tendency is to GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!!!! To know that Elijah was pulled aside from life and put in a position to be in a right relationship with God, I was overwhelmed. I was reading this book and realizing what God was doing to Elijah and I laid my head down on my arm and just sobbed. For as much as I did not want to read this book this month - for fear of how I would be convicted - I needed it like I need fresh, cool water (from a well that never runs dry!)

Anyone ever afraid of opening up scripture because you fear you'll be convicted to change? Then you discover the blessing that comes from the word, sustaining you with life giving words and examples of men and women of the faith? That's me this month - expecting the discipline, and finding the love.

I've felt a pressure to "hurry up!" in a few areas and reading about Elijah was a comfort in feeling God's hand on my family saying, "No rush. We're here now. Take it slow."

Swindoll writes that there are four lessons and principles worth pondering in Elijah's life which are as follows:

Number one: God's leading is often surprising; don't analyze it.
Number two: The beginning days are often the hardest days; don't quit.
Number three: God's promises often hinge on obedience; don't ignore your part.
Number four: God's provisions are often just enough; don't fail to thank Him.

(from pages 52-53)

Swindoll goes on to remind the Christian that trials are "temporary" but God has us go through them periodically all throughout life in order to draw us closer to Himself. The trial may be downright painful to just uncomfortable in spots. But God's goal in it is to make us to know Him more fully.

We want pain to END and be OVER with and done with so we can move on in a happy life. But God can't use us unless He wounds us. If we aren't wounded, then we don't understand why we need a Savior.

The words to an old hymn which Swindoll quotes:

"The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design,
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine."

Oh but it isn't fun. And it's quiet. And it's scary.

The following song came to mind as I was thinking over these things. This particular song used to be a favorite of mine but I had forgotten all about it. The song has rather special meaning to me because I had it burned to a CD to have playing (in my ear with headphones!) when I was giving birth to Bookworm1. I didn't know what the experience would be like and I wanted this message playing loud and clear so that I would focus on truth during an "unknown" of quiet solitude (that wasn't exactly quiet in the end.)

Finding myself in another "unknown" moment in time, I think it suits again and I offer it here for you in case you are need of some encouragement in your period of waiting, and in your 'alone time' with God.



If I were to summarize what I think I gleaned the most from reading about Elijah's life it would be this:

Solitude is good. Times of quiet reflection and communion with God are healthy and healing. Without them, it's impossible to move forward in a mature walk with God.

I'll take the mature walk, thanks! Even if it means sitting down and shutting up for awhile. If God wants to do a work in me through a time of silence, I'll go there with Him. It is the very least I could possibly do. Furthermore, I'll take my time and try to make it His. Step-by-step, day-by-day -- wherever He leads, I will follow.

Contest Winners

Wow...well, I didn't realize I had so many contests ready to roll so near one another but that means I get to make a lot of you happy all at the same time. No complaints there, right? Without further ado - here are our winners of the following contests:



The winner of the Queen Anne's lace stationary is Krista from Welcome to Married Life!




The five winners of the books Ben & Me and Mr. Revere and I are as follows:

Sky
Jen at Happy Little Homemaker
Abi at 4 the Love of Books
Mary Bailey from Bell Whistle Moon
Shoyna from Learning How Much I Don't Know





The winner of Skinny is Overrated is tmu! Congrats to her!




The winner of Every Woman's Marriage and Every Man's Marriage, which Jonathan and I reviewed together, is Nathan and Alison.

Congratulations to all of the winners!

As a final note - you may or may not have seen my post earlier this week concerning the 100 $15.00 Amazon gift cards I have to giveaway. There are still some gift cards available and if you'd like to find out how to receive one, visit this post to learn more about Emma Parker. It's a nice and simple way to make $15.00! I should note though (as mentioned previously) you do have to have an active blog to participate.



I hope you all enjoy your new books! If you see this post before I e-mail you, feel free to beat me to an e-mail in sending me your addresses!

Happy Reading!

Indestructible Books

Are you ready to be beside yourself amazed!? Totally floored? Completely mystified?

First off all, let me introduce you to the artist of these "100% Baby Proof" books - Kaaren Pixton. Kaaren original hails from Ireland but now resides close by where I live in Portland, Oregon. Kaaren created the artwork that you see here in these wordless books. The publisher's website describes Pixton's work as "reminiscent of Eric Carle" and I would have to agree. Pixton is a remarkable artist and these books are delightful to look through.

Pixton has a passion for art and has been teaching children art for the past 30 years. Her first published books are the Indestructible series which have been published by Workman Publishing. The books were originally created for Paxton's grandchildren (triplets!) who were going through board books like nobody's business.

Now this is where things become interesting. Paxton created a few books for her grandkids that were made out of a paper-like material which causes them to be "indestructible." Children can gnaw, drool or try to rip these books and they will remain in excellent condition. She gifted her grandchildren with these books and her daughter-in-law, Amy Pixton, saw the potential for these books to be marketed to other parents of young readers. Workman agreed and a product was born.

Now, I have to confess that I had my doubts that these books were truly indestructible. They look like paper. They feel like paper. It looks like a flimsy little book in actuality. So I tossed one over to Jonathan and told him of the claims that these books made. He didn't believe it either and proceeded to try to rip it (carefully, of course, because we are both respecters of books!) It wouldn't rip. He was pretty impressed!

So then I took the books after he had gone to work and handed them over to Bookworm2 who is somewhat less than gentle with books at the moment (but he's learning!) He squished and mangled and scrunched the pages and --- nothing happened. The books still looked pristine. Huh! Soooooo.....feeling a bit more bravely optimistic, Mommy took the books back and gave a valiant attempt at ripping them herself. Nothin' doin'.

With great fear and trepidation over the possible consequences, I took the books over to the kitchen sink. I couldn't believe the experiment I was about to undertake, but I held the books under the water faucet and let the front cover become quite wet. Or not? I wiped the water off and the book looked brand new still! SOLD to the mommy blogger who is filled with doubt no more!

This is such a fantastic concept! I can't decide what I love most of all about these books:

* Their indestructible-ness?

* The fact that brilliant artwork is displayed, and not something cheesy?

* The fact that this is a mother-in-law/daughter-in-law venture?
The fact that these books were originally created for the joy of having grandchildren?

*Their affordability?

All of these things are good reasons to like these books.

If you like the concept, you'll be delighted to know that there is a whole line of these books to choose from.

Indestructibles Flutter! Fly!

Indestructibles Wiggle! March!

Indestructibles Creep! Crawl!

Indestructibles: Mama and Baby!

Indestructibles: Hey, Diddle Diddle

Indestructibles: Humpty, Dumpty

There are many more titles to choose from and more on the way (due to be released this spring.) Guess what lands high up on my "to buy" list for mothers of new babies?

Thanks, Workman, for allowing us the opportunity to become believers. This is such a fantastic product and we're excited about them. (Can you guys tell?)

I have ONE HUNDRED $15 Amazon Gift Certificates to Give Away

Am I kidding you?

Would I do that? (Have I yet?)

I just wanted to explain a button that's showing on my sidebar now which does not have anything to do with books. It is a button for Emma Parker & Co. jewelry.

Emma Parker & Co. is operated by a homeschooling family that we are friends with, and I want to support their business by acknowledging them here on my site. They are upstanding, honorable people and I value their work ethic and the things that drive them. (And it's my site, so I can do it if I like!) That being said, I've always been particular about what links appear on my blog, so it is with some amount of honor that I give a spot to them.

Now, I'M doing this because they are my friends and I know them. Admittedly, you wouldn't feel the same amount of desire to put a button on YOUR site.

However, they have been generous enough to make this offer for you book lovers and mom-bloggers out there:

1. Place the following button on your sidebar of your own active blog (and, under the honor system, intend to keep it there for at least six months):

<a href="http://www.emmaparkerdiamonds.com/rings.php"><img src="http://www.emmaparkerdiamonds.com/blog-button.gif" alt="Engagement Rings" width="125" height="125" /></a>

(Note: Where you put the button your sidebar is not an issue; "top billing" is not required.)

2. Email them at ads@emmaparkerdiamonds.com to let them know it is up, and send them a link to your blog so that they can verify it.

3. They will reply via email with a gift certificate for $15.00 to Amazon.com, to spend however you like. (I recommend: books!)

This offer is open to the first 100 people who contact them. There are 100 $15.00 gift certificates available. If you place the button on multiple active blogs, you may (subject to their discretion) receive more than one gift certificate.

I've closed comments on this post because this isn't a comment-driven offer. In order to take advantage of the deal, you need to e-mail them at ads@emmaparkerdiamonds.com.

This isn't the type of thing I am usually willing to publicize, as a general rule. However, this is a company and a family that I believe in and care about and so -- here I am!

(I was not paid any compensation for writing this post whatsoever. I'm not even receiving a $15.00 for MY button placement. I'm just spreading the word to announce what they're doing. Feel free to do the same on your own blog, twitter, or facebook page!)

Love in a Time of Homeschooling, by Laura Brodie

You've gotta know that this book piqued my interest, don'tcha?

I was offered a chance to review this book thanks to Harper Collins and I said "yes" to it quicker than a wink!

Love in a Time of Homeschooling is subtitled, "A Mother and Daughter's Uncommon Year" which made me kinda snicker from the get-go. This book is a memoir written by Laura Brodie who decided to homeschool her eldest daughter, Julia, during her fifth grade year. For one year she wanted to try giving her daughter a more vast - and yet flexible - education. For an interesting plot twist, during this same year her other two daughters would be attending the local public elementary school.

Brodie is writing from an interesting perspective. She is a great believer in the importance for mothers and children to have their time away from one another. She doesn't think the public school is doing a very good job educating children. She rather subtly mocks people who homeschool as a way of life, and yet she also makes the statement that some people like to temporarily home school for the sake of giving their child "one good year." I found Love in a Time of Homeschooling to be full of mixed messages when it came to her ultimate opinion of home schooling.

On the one hand, I'd say she read a lot of books about How-To Homeschool. She participated in a few group field trips with other homeschoolers in her area. But she based most of her knowledge of what homeschoolers believe or how they function on internet research and a few book titles. Yet clearly Brodie prides herself on being a well-educated woman who knows her stuff. I think she did a truly awesome job homeschooling Julia for a year. Her intentions were fantastic, her creativity and imagination in the task is exemplary and she held her daughter to the task of being educated.

For me, as a homeschooler (having been raised as such and now being at home with my own children), I grinned through most of this book. It came across as the typical, "Public schoolers think homeschoolers are W-E-I-R-D" type of read. Even the title suggests her opinion of the trend to school at home - as if this is something that is (or should be?) uncommon. I bet that if she could find a way to strengthen the public school system and eliminate state-wide testing (she really is not a fan of rote testing), she'd be up in arms against the concept of homeschooling. The message that homeschoolers are an odd breed is kind of old and eye-rolling to me. So I had a hard time taking this book seriously -- in part.

On the other hand, it was interesting to hear the "why" behind this mother and daughter's particular journey. The most fascinating thing about their story, to me, was the fact that they live in Virginia and were able to incorporate so much of our nation's history into their experiences. Field trips to D.C. and roaming Williamsburg? Those kinds of trips are a homeschoolers dream! (And Brodie knows that too, by the way!)

If anything, I think this book shows the thought-processes behind why a parent would choose home schooling, even for a short period of time, for the enrichment of their children. In the end, I think the book makes a positive statement towards home schooling - even unintentionally at times. I quickly devoured this book and was entertained, amused and, at times, mildly frustrated. I'm still not sure what to think of calling this journey "uncommon" since for me (and most, if not all, of my friends growing up!) it was the norm. I suppose the most remarkable thing about the book was in connecting to another person's journey in a way that only a homeschooler could. I could nod in agreement and empathize even with her arguments for not wanting to do it long term.

I don't know exactly what our family's own school journey will look in the future - so I'll make no predictions. It's nice, I suppose, to see books like this come out because it just makes what others find a little strange to be less so. That's a benefit that I see much value in and if you are curious about homeschooling, this certainly makes for an intriguing read!

Thanks, Harper Collins, for feeding my own personal curiosity and allowing me an opportunity to read this book!

For those of you interested in another opinion - Lauren also reviewed this book over at 5 Minutes for Books. Hop on over to see what she thought of it!

Oh yeah, one last thing....

You might like this.

You might not like this.

I've watched it X amount of times (not admitting the actual number) and can't quit laughing and snickering.

One thing is for certain: you WILL have an opinion about it!



. . . I know I do.

Friday Favs

Well since TOMORROW is Jonathan's and my fifth wedding anniversary - this post is dedicated to the one I love.

#1 - It's dedicated to the man who is excited to LIVE life with me! He finds ways to surprise me that he knows I'll like. He enthusiastically supports my plans and genuinely enjoys living.

#2 - It's dedicated to the man who works a long day and then comes home and picks up the kids and plays with them so that I can have a break after having had them to myself all day.



#3 - It's dedicated to the man who never walks away from a problem just because there is one. It doesn't matter if it's a relationship problem or a broken treadmill - he stays the course and doesn't run away (haha! pardon the pun there!).

#4 - It's dedicated to the man who has so much imagination (even though he probably wouldn't call it that) that any challenge he puts his mind to meets with success. He thinks BIG and he makes things happen. (We're never very bored...)



#5 - It's dedicated to the man who loves the Lord with all of his heart, his soul and his mind. I trust Jonathan because he trusts God. He seeks wisdom and understanding and his heart is turned towards the cross.

And I still wish there was a better Youtube clip with this song from our wedding, but the message is still true! =)

Non nobis Domine, non nobis Domine, sed nomine tuo da gloriam
Non nobis Domine, non nobis Domine, sed nomine tuo da gloriam

Not unto us, not unto us O Lord, but unto thy name give the glory!

I think we both mean that a little more than we did at the beginning because I think we both understand it a little bit more than we did back then. And I'm glad for all the things that have made that sacrificial statement more real, more meaningful and have made us more purposeful in our walk together.

I love you, Jonathan! I love you more viciously and ferociously than I did five years ago - that's for sure! You're awesome and I'm excessively grateful to be YOUR wife!

Every Man & Woman's Marriage

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, Jonathan and I read the companion titles, Every Man's Marriage and Every Woman's Marriage.

Since this pair of books is obviously set up to be read independently by the husband and wife, Jonathan and I did that, and are sharing our thoughts as a team on the respective titles.

Carrie's thoughts on Every Woman's Marriage:

This is a great book for just the female partners in the marriage to focus on. I opened the first few pages to find Shannon Ethridge to be a woman very much like myself in temperament and personality. It was easy for me to read her and take in the advice (which I identified with a great deal!) I felt convicted and challenged as a wife - in a good way! My favorite quote is probably the following:

"God designed the institution of marriage not just as a means to our happiness but as the very foundation of society. Marriage isn't a temporary agreement made for our convenience or selfish intentions. It is a lifelong, blood-sweat-and-tears, come hell-or-high-water commitment. When we marry, we pledge our entire lives to our spouses, "for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death."

Marriage is a sacred relationship that we should prize above all others and that we should hold on to for dear life. It's in this precious, sacred relationship that we can practice becoming more holy, exercising our spiritual muscles to become more like Christ." (Chapter 4, page 47-48)

I think one of the hardest things for me to realize, the further in we get into our marriage, is that the world really seems wants to pull us apart. I wouldn't say that I entered into this "blessed state" (which, for the record, it is!) with blinders on. I didn't expect it to be easy. I just didn't expect it to be torn at by outside forces as much as it has been. That's a hard road to walk and it takes fight and effort to keep going with it and to take care to protect it. When Ethridge says that marriage is something that you hang on to "for dear life" - she wasn't kidding! The encouragement that this book offered was welcome along with the conviction - to keep pressing on and honoring my relationship with Jonathan above all others.

Jonathan's thoughts on Every Man's Marriage:

First of all, I want to describe the general tone of this book. From what I've seen, books on marriage fall into two camps:

• Books which focus on expositing scriptures related to the marriage relationship, and to bring conviction by revealing the sin and selfishness so frequently found in ourselves when compared to the light of Christ and the perfect analogy of his role as bridegroom to the church. (What Did You Expect??, by Paul Tripp, does a fantastic job of this.)
• Books which focus on helping married couples overcome the hurdles in their communication styles, so that they can understand each other better and operate more effectively as a team. These issues are still often addressed from a Christian perspective, and a great example is The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

Every Man's Marriage is a blend of the two styles, and covers a very broad range of subjects by multiple authors as you progress through the book. The positive side of this is that the broad focus is likely to hit on a great number of issues that are relevant to your marriage. But, on the other hand, it doesn't go into extreme depth for any given subject, and it reads like a general Christian handbook to marriage concepts, pitfalls, and encouragement.

Personally, I've always had a penchant for reading marriage books... I recall reading them even before I was married or was in any kind of relationship. In retrospect, that really wasn't particularly useful! A bit like reading a tour guide to a foreign country you don't have any plans to visit.

My personal challenge now is that I enjoy reading books like this, nodding sagely at their advice, wincing a bit when they hit too close to home, and feeling silently smug when the authors share self-deprecating anecdotes from their own marriages where I feel like I could honestly say, "Well, even I wouldn't make that mistake!"

But, by applying that kind of attitude when reading books like this, and then moving on and living my life, there is really no benefit to be gained, and I may have just as well spent the time reading a good novel instead. Because, truly, purely academic knowledge in the area of relationships is not much use at all.

For example, a year ago I subscribed to This Old House with every intention of becoming inspired into lots of grand projects about our house and yard. Today I just received the last of my 12 issues in the mail. Each month I enjoy paging through them and seeing different ideas, construction projects, and what appears to be an inexhaustible variety of ways to use power tools! Now, a year later, I'm a lot smarter for it, and I can toss out complicated-sounding terms like "mortise and tenon" with wild abandon.

But, how many homeowner projects has this actually prompted me to take shovel in hand and go after? A big fat zero. Because, even though the glossy magazine photos of promised outcomes look fantastic, I know that there's a big difference between sitting in an armchair reading a magazine, and roto-tilling ground and pulling weeds under the hot sun! Our land will probably have to survive with the bare minimum of attention for a good long while. (Retirement, maybe?!) I don't think I'll renew my subscription.

It's tempting to apply a similar attitude to our marriages, and just stay on "survival mode", where we do the equivalent of keeping the grass cut before it gets knee-high and, well, if the drywall gets banged up somehow, just hang something colorful over it!

But, the rewards of maintaining and building your marriage are more far-reaching than any construction project ever could be, and the effort that we invest in making changes in our own attitudes and actions are repaid a thousand-fold. (Even though they probably won't be written about much in popular magazines!)

Every Man's Marriage is well-written and does an accurate job of describing many things about relationships. It's solid, scripturally based, and contains on-target guidance. (And I'll say the same for Every Woman's Marriage, having quickly paged through it out of, well, "curiosity," heh heh.)

But, let's not just read these books for educational purposes; it's better to take a few sentences and begin applying them consistently in our lives, than to read entire books and stuff them into the back of our "mental knowledge" where they may never see the light of application.

When the going is rough, we are forced to look to the cross for our strength and motivation to continue. “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for each other.” (1 John 3:16) The rewards of this are reaped in more than just the lifetime of marriage ahead of you; they are to be enjoyed for eternity!

Some good news for all of you. The publisher - WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group - has offered to give away a set of these books to one of you! Would you like to win these marriage resource books? Getting married soon? Been married and realize it's a struggle sometimes to keep plugging along? Simply leave a comment below. This contest is open for U.S. Residents only and will be open through Wednesday, the 19th.

THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED

Skinny is Overrated, by Danielle Milano, MD

Ok, seriously folks, I didn't meant to have so many giveaways running together but that's just the way we're apparently rolling this week!

I was asked if I wanted to review a copy of Skinny Is Overrated: The Real Woman's Guide to Health and Happiness at Any Size about the same time I received my copy of The 90-Day Fitness Challenge in the mail. I thought the two would be fun to read and work through together. I also previously mentioned that I had never seen an episode of The Biggest Loser, which sparked the The 90-Day Fitness Challenge (the book was authored by two former contestants.) Cassandra mentioned that I could watch an episode of The Biggest Loser on hulu.com and my obsession with the show is now ALL HER FAULT!

So between the 90-Day Fitness Challenge, watching the latest season of The Biggest Loser on hulu, and reading Skinny Is Overrated -- I'm feeling a little motivated!

Skinny Is Overrated is written by Danielle Milano, MD, who works in East Harlem treating people suffering from obesity and diabetes. She decided to write this book because her clients kept asking her what they should be eating. This book is her long-and-short-of-it answer.

Perhaps there is nothing ground-breaking in this book. You've got the usual stuff - work out a little, "eat right" and make good choices. She's not screaming "LAST CHANCE WORKOUT!" at sweating people. Rather, she's just answering the question, in some detail, about what eating "right" means. I found this resource helpful and beneficial. She spelled out why it's important to have so much of this vitamin and that fat in your diet in order to be healthy.

She stresses that the goal is not to be skinny (although surely you will not be obese if you take care of yourself!) but to be healthy. She looks down upon the pressure that modern society places on women to be thin for the sake of appearance. Thin people can be unhealthy and she points out that it's better to be a healthy size 12 than a sick size 2. The point is health and she emphasizes that throughout the book.

Dr. Milano is probably the most conscientious writer out there when it comes to the topic of what it means to live on a real-life budget when you are trying to eat healthy. She offers you practical advice on where to spend the money that you have to receive the maximum benefit. I appreciated that she was writing to the middle-to-lower income reader when she was dispelling her wisdom and advice. It wasn't about buying a Body Bugg (although I want one!) or eating a particular brand of food that is helping her advertise her book! It's just plain good advice which makes plain good sense.

That all said, I do feel like I need to give the following disclaimer and concern that I had about the book. I did not agree with her world-view and so I did have to ignore that to varying degrees throughout this read. Milano suggests that readers might want to "adopt a goddess" to help motivate us along through our journey to health. Milano references Reverend Sue Brockway, an interfaith minister, who offers a list of goddess to choose from to motivate you towards realizing your goals. Obviously, I would not agree that the way to reach goals is enlisting the help of goddesses and I reject her suggestion that this is a good idea point blank. Thankfully this discussion all takes place in Chapter 3 entitled, "Get Motivated!" and after that, the concept of goddess strengths die away and practical know-how comes into play.

On the whole though, I found Skinny Is Overrated to be a practical and educational resource and I don't have any difficulty in recommending it. If you are also a Biggest Loser enthusiast - you'll definitely appreciate picking up a copy of this book!

If you think you might enjoy reading this book, then I have some good news for you! The publisher has graciously offered a copy to one of you. This contest is open to residents in the U.S. AND Canada! To win? Leave a comment. If you want, tell me who you are rooting for in this season of Biggest Loser. =D (Personally, I think I'm going for Daris!) This contest will be open through May 19th.

Good luck!

NOTE: HULU.COM RUNS A WEEK BEHIND WHATEVER HAS BEEN BROADCASTED. SO DON"T SPILL THE BEANS ON WHO IS BEING VOTED OFF THE NEXT FEW WEEKS! I'd kinda like to be surprised. ;)


THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED